My heart knew all along
But my brain was saying it was all wrong
When they say trust your gut they never say which one

At night, I listen to music
I listen to music to calm my thoughts
Thoughts that tell me I'm worthless
At night, I look at my darkroom and think of him
I think of what we have done together
Of what we could be doing
Of what we could be talking about
If not for her

At night, I cry
I cry because I feel like I'm losing
I'm losing hope that people care
People care for me and I'm not alone
I'm with someone that can help me navigate the sea full of rocks
The sea full of heartbreak and failures

At night, I look up at the stars
I see dots that swim in the dark blue blanket of sky
They float clueless to what horrors lie ahead
Stars are like children
They bring light to a dark world

At night I dream
Dream of a world where my family doesn't berate me like an animal
Who just ****** on the carpet
Dream of a world where we can live in peace
A world where shootings and ****** was unheard of
A world where we can all be happy
But this is just a dream
Dreams aren't reality
But at night
It's my reality

I love my imagination; its always there to remind me of how beautiful you are.

But since I am human I can't help missing your presence around me.

I can't wait to see you again my love.

they all ask me
where my smile is
and i say my pockets

they all ask  me
why i'm not smiling
and i say my smile is now his

they all ask me
why i can't smile
and i say i can but i never do

they all ask me
if i've ever smiled
and i say i used to

my pockets are full of smiles
they stay upcurved once in a while

my pockets are full of broken souls
hearts covered in deep holes

I could write a book,
dedicated to all the bittersweet.

On the first page,
I would write your name;
tear it out, and start over.

I could devote pages upon pages,
to the love I felt
and left for good.

but I owe it not to you,
not to the love,
nor the story;

but to the change of heart,
the ache,
the turning away.

he said.
if love is a language I think we got lost in translation.

Hands poised on the keyboard of my mind,
Two people speak to me
Two different ways to live your life,
Too different to listen to at the same time.
Mind blown,
Not everyone knows they'll land on a good state of mind.
Most find, they are falling into the rhythm of deadly pursuit,
Hands shaking with words, lips pursed
For a rhyme that I believe in with every tendon I chose to use
Like comprehending your memories in the present
Sublime.
But I'm afraid,
That I won't make it with just blood, sweat, and tears.
Realization will come with facing my fears.
This games been won before, often overplayed.
A daydream I control,
A nightmare I do not,
Slightly shaking, faking confidence in my own thoughts,
Two people speak to me
One in truth and one,
Truthfully.
There are two sides to every story.
One lies,
And one would for me....