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Penelopejayde Jun 2019
I can now understand what time means to be torn. Torn from it all.

I’m driving faster, sleeping less, faster becoming a recluse, seeing myself half less.

You were there in front of me until I demolished it apart. Now I’ve crumbled and now removed away from the site of you.

First love that will now never leave my memory. I’m driving faster, leaving myself in the rear view mirror and seeing less of a future.
The music is up louder to drown out my emotions
Penelopejayde Mar 2019
At the depth of night,
I stood,
You were there,
Circling,
Circling me like a shark does to their prey.
It’s always efficient to see you in person.
  Mar 2019 Penelopejayde
Andrew Rueter
One
I never met you
Every day except one
You didn't mind calling fun
Everyone else said I was a faithless sinner
After being part of these one night winners
The kind where we skip dinner
And go straight to bed
While in my tornado head
I am haunted by these idiotic thoughts
Despite what my lonely life has taught
I yearn for all the pleasure you brought
To fill all my days
Like the sun's rays
Instead of responding with nothing
Leaving me in the dark
Thinking you're a shark
When we shared a spark
But you casually smothered the infant flame
So I'm glad I don't even know your name
Penelopejayde Mar 2019
People aren’t born (I thought whilst watching a passionate artist perform their blood for the audience),
They are found.
Last nights thought that dropped by. I wrote it down on a paper cup.
Penelopejayde Mar 2019
I loved her,
Growing up together,
But the separation of tertiary education,
I became more selfish,
I saw you were hurt,
Majorly hurt,
I hurt also,
But it was you,
And I had to withdraw myself,
Away from you,
I didn’t understand you see,
I was being selfish to survive,
To live another day to be selfish
And to be able to be in your aura,
Even though I knew you were hurting
I needed to get better before
So I could just see you
In all that is a strong light.
But you were hurting and I didn’t do anything,
I selfishly sustained my desire over you to only see you later.
We are still friends, but I’m still finding my words to tell them. Should I tell them? And if I did would my heart understand something my brain tried too. WIP - will probably edit
Penelopejayde Dec 2018
Absurd, observe, absorb
Sounds all the same to me.
When I fall it’s untouchable
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