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Lee May 2019

Undone
Like a button
Unraveled
Like string
As my happiness
Leaves a trail
That I can't
Get ahold of
Anymore
For, all the string
Is picked up
By the wind
And all the buttons
Bounce down the road
I want to chase them back
But I'd rather
Lead myself home.

  May 2019 Lee
Vale Luna
(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.
Forward: from the victims perspective.
Backward: from the murderers perspective.

This TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE
Lee May 2019
There is a storm on the horizon.
My forecast calls for rains of salt water and of sorrow
And all of me will drown in its merciless fury
And the winds of pain are but a warning, though they are far from subtle.
To persuade myself that I shall not be engulfed in my own ocean
Would be like persuading a tsunami not to crash ashore.
But adaptation is a much simpler concept.
Note to self: It’s alright to be upset because you won't have that little bit of extra support for a while, but you need not worry. He’ll be okay, and so will you.
When your house is flooded, there’s always shelter elsewhere. You just need to look for it.
Lee May 2019
You are the Sun
In an absence of light.
But soon you will be absent
And I shall be blind.
Note to self: Stay strong. He won't be gone long, but it’ll feel longer if you don't keep your head up.
Still working on those old poems.
Lee Apr 2019
Shades of blue
Changed the way I thought of you
And are still changing
In this very moment.
For all the shades of blue,
There is a new meaning.
And your shades
Respond to the inconsistencies
In how I choose
To let myself portray you.
Shades of brown
Are the mask which hides
All the unrelenting doubts
About who you are.
The cover of those shades
Is a one-way mirror
You can see me
But I fail to see you
And beg to break through the glass
And grasp at what I can.
Shades of red
Reflect my burning heart
Full of the heat of desire
For that perfect world
In which you and I
Are the perfect couple.
And all of my efforts
To set our fire ablaze
Are snuffed out by my mind
Who scares my heart
Into a retreat
And the shades of red fade.
I must be confident as a match
Ready and able to spark
And use you as my gasoline
To set us aflame.
I think that I know just enough to reignite my confidence and finally say something to that boy who looks so good in that blue sweater.
I think I should add that this is the final part of the Shades of Blue trilogy.
Lee Apr 2019
Shades of blue
Still remind me of you
But in another way.
The bluest drops of water
Remind me you might not stay.
As the rain keeps beat on my window pane,
And my tears trickle just the same,
I cry myself to sleep
For your shades of blue.

Shades of brown
Still remind me you’re alive
But in another way.
They block me from the secrets in your soul
Behind your eyes, I’ll never know
What lurks in that heart of yours
Beneath those shades of brown.

Shades of red
Still remind me of my heart
But in another way.
The day it told me you’d be mine
I listened to it’s lies.
The minute it fell in love
And held it prematurely
Before I knew it could break
Like glass under pressure of heartache
When I realized my heart
Might have convinced me
Of an impossibility.
Maybe he isn’t the one, and maybe he’ll never be, but I won’t know unless I ask.
Lee Apr 2019
Just when it felt
You were the one
I heard something about you
And if it's true
This isn't the first time
I've had to change how I feel
Because you can't change
How you feel.

It's fine if you are who you are
I can't change you for my sake
But I'll still let the water
Fall from these eyes
That saw you that day
And tricked me
Into thinking you were mine.
Just to be clear, yes, this is about the same boy in "Shades of Blue". No, I don't know how to reach out to him. No, I won't say what the rumours were. But there are rumours.
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