I had dreams and ambitions , I was a ******* a mission.
I had to no time for jokes and stuff. I had my eye on the prize, everything was great. Fantasies were not for me .

One day life came knocking at my door and hit me with the cold truth.
It was something different than what I have experienced, In a fraction of  a second I lost everything... I watched my dreams fade,,
My world was slowly fading awaiting like light when darkness take over.

They say there will always be light at the end of a long tunnel.
I tell you today that there is no light, more darkness prevails and owns the day.

Who am I to think I was different from the rest, who am I to think I could make the best from the worst?
Who am I to have ambitions beyond reality?
Who am I to have dreams?

The simple thing we ask for in life are never what we get. We surround ourselves with objects, people and in the end get attached because we all want to belong somewhere. Individuals would rather surround themselves with their enemies than face the music....

We would rather befriend the very thing we hate because we simply cannot be alone.
We would rather stay in a broken home, at least it is a home.
We would rather say we have friends when we don't because in this life you can never find a person who understands.

We find only those who will look past our flaws.
We hate death because it has no feelings, what we feel its not hate but admiration and adoration,,, we don't want to feel.... Because nothing hurts more than rejection.

Nothing hurts than letting your guard down and having life give up on you.

It hurts to love you. Holding you in my arms is like stepping on a thousand needles.
I don't want to shed tears no more, I don't want to be no more.
I have been always OK with failing myself but I cant accept failing you, failing us.

So today I am going to bury my heart, I am going to lay it in concrete.
I don't intend on retrieving it, ever, because I don't want to love you no more
This sadness is a wound I can never heal so I would rather live through these moments of pain , shame and disappointment..

Maybe without feeling the pain it would be easier , it would be easier to hold you in my arms and get lost in them.
I would not want to crawl out of my own skin every time you make love to me because it hurts to love you.

If you are going to walk out you should do it now.
Don't look back or say anything. Just go. You lingering here just makes it harder for me.

Don't tell me you love me because you don't, if it was love it shouldn't have been this painful.

Eternity has passed, time never stood still, I am the one who stood there.
I refused to take a leap of faith, believe in whatever and be positive.
May be at this moment I could be in your arms.we could be making memories under the moonlight or kissing in the rain as nature washes away my faults, we could have our own version of "The Notebook"

I go to bed everyday with 'what if's".... that's why I end up wanting the devil to knock me out.
I moved past the point of crying myself to sleep.
Truth is I got tired of everyone telling me how I messed up, what path I should have taken.

I am slowly getting tired of my own heart beat, why are all these people telling tales I already know?
We all cant be happy, I get it but can you allow me to right my wrongs?
I am tired of sipping on bottles, tired of these white pills . I cant be perfect but can I at peace with my regrets.

I shove you across the room, my legs fail me... my "*******" inner me fails me.
I crash to the ground, the last of me, this is it. The tipping point...
I cant do this any more, I can be what you want me to be. I kept chipping bits and pieces of my soul so that I could be good enough for you.
I did it so that you would not be ashamed of me, afraid to hold me like you did her.


I am a woman trapped in a little girls body, I still believe in unicorns dipped in magic and all I see is rainbows , I believe that someday you will love me.
When they say love is blind they were wrong, at least the blind develop a sixth sense, they know when its not real...
Well I lost all my sense, for you i pushed boundaries , for  you I defied all the laws, I defied me for you, because what?? I LOVE YOU???


Love failed me, they sold  me dreams of happy endings and what not.
Love is not fun is hell, it doesn't make me content it makes me miserable and vengeful...
Loving you failed me... I failed myself by accepting the love that I thought I deserved...............
Love don't Love me no more..

I try to hard to perfect it... someone has to notice my effort.
I drown my sorrows in a  book, cramming information into my "empty" mind according society.
I am on a high from caffeine , I have to be superwoman.. save the day, save the world and stuff...

I give my all , fight to the last second but my best is not good enough anymore. In my own highway of dreams I carry coffins of rejects.....
I am tired of writing my "wrongs" that society identified..
I am tired of being perfect and tired of being tired...

I was not good enough for my mother, who chose to find acceptance in a bottle...I had a boy for a father and a judge as society..
As time stands still I engrave all the "rejects" in my gravestone ....
Here lived a soul not goo enough for society..

I stand bu the coast and shut my eyes .. the breeze hits against my face and for a moment I feel free....
I take these white pills and for a moment I am free,,, acceptable..
I swim in these intoxicating liquid and for a second I am free... acceptable to society,, Good enough....