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LS Dec 2019
i still drink coffee
even though it makes my hands shake
and my anxiety spike
i still smoke
even if it burns my lungs
and turns them to tar
i still drink
even though it makes my throat burn
and makes my words slur
i still love you
even though my heart begs for me to stop
and my mind can't take it anymore.
LS Oct 2019
nobody knows what they want
not when they're 17
and not even when they're 40
people look for their best option
whatever is going to fill the void in their heart
at that moment

whether it be a job
a sport
a hobby
or a person

some people don't always choose correctly in the moment
it's hard to know what you want
to decide what's best
that's why so many people choose wrong

because
nobody knows what they want
not until
it's right in front of them
LS Oct 2019
someone told me today
"i've never seen you without a smile on your face
you always have a front"
i laughed at her words

i thought
that's how i have to be
i can't be bringing people down with me
drowning them in my sadness
i need to make others happy

it's like she read my mind
because she smiled and said
"sometimes you need to take down that front you put on
take care of yourself"

i hardly knew how to do that
and that's when it dawned on me
i need to put myself first

i am a priority
not an option
i am my first choice
not last
i am my best friend
no one else.
LS Aug 2019
i think there is someone in our lifetime
that makes us feel emotions
we didn't think were possible
someone you'll just love and love
with everything in you
and you won't look for them
you won't meet them
intentionally
they'll come into your life
at the strangest time
when you least
expect it
LS Aug 2019
silence.

nothing but
the clicking of the fan can be heard
especially at this hour

all is still
even her

the walls are dark
blending in with the night
clothes are scattered along the floor
the tv hasn't been on in ages

she lies there watching
waiting
her teeth clenched
throat tight
she hasn't spoken in hours

she lives in a constant state of sleep paralysis
her body dead asleep
as if
she had been laid in concrete
but her mind is
sharp, wide awake

she see's
what she desires
she wakes up when she can
she can't speak
when this happens
because her body is numb, asleep

all she has is her mind
her thoughts
that nobody can hear
nobody but her.
LS Apr 2019
one day
you're outside riding your bike
getting scrapes on your knees
that your mother kisses
after she's bandaged

one day you're running outside with your friends
throwing water balloons
without a care in the world

one day you're sitting in class
praying to go home
and for time to move faster

one day you'll hear your name called out
loud and clear
a stage awaiting your footsteps toward your future

one day it will all be over
appreciate it now
you don't have
as much time
as you think
LS Apr 2019
i've lived in the same house all my life
pulled into the same driveway
carried groceries
through the same door
slept in the same bed
and yet
it's never felt like home

i sit in my room sometimes
and think to myself
i want
to go home

home is where one feels safe
and wanted
and loved

i realize now that home was never a place for me
it was a person
it's you.
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