How insecure am I
It comes out in waves
as I call out the names
it's been ever the same
as far, since I was five.
I see them
looking at me,
they can sense my nervous energy,
I can see the anxiety building up
Overflowing the cup
as I grow old.
I am okay
without anybody
But I change immediately
as I sense someone
around me.
It's just me
I feel everyone judging me,
I want high scores
but I can't act right,
I know it is impossible
to please everyone
but at those times
I just forget even to try,
it's how I am.
I do know,
I am getting negatives
because of my inactions
but I cannot calm my nerves.
It is the heart hammering
On the walls loudly,
It is hard.
My eyes
vulnerable to all eyes,
Can't you see that I
am afraid?
I am an open book
with empty lines,
with doodles at sides,
this is my mind
with more scribbles.
I can't grow like this,
I've to get over this
the world is merciless,
won't give another chance
this is it, miss the hit
you go back home.
I am nervous, I am unsure,
I am a mess, looking for cure,
my best attempt of smile
is like another big failure,
I try to speak up, more words
they flow with stammer.