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 Nov 2014 Natalie Neo
ally m
you awoke
the veins
on my skin.
What's in a dream?
is it you?
or me?
or who we hope to be?
where's the seam?
which is my reality?
All I want is clarity;
to know if I'll awake from despair into prosperity.
To know if it's all an illusion;
an allusion to confusion.
Which leads me to believe;
That there's nothing left to perceive,
and that it's my own information i receive.
That life...
Is but a dream.
 Nov 2014 Natalie Neo
Erenn
Tonight
 Nov 2014 Natalie Neo
Erenn
Tonight,
It feels calm yet perturbed
Carrying this weight of regret
Fills my heart with malevolent beats of distress
Pumping motions of prying blood
Purple tint stains as it cuts
Screaming in pain but to no avail
Help is not needed but weary the mind
"You’ll seek what you’ll find
Beneath the shadows of imminent time.”


Tonight,
Verged with desire
To seek the forgotten light
Above the skies and among the stars
Hidden within this immense universe
Waiting as it pours
To the ground with glinting flames
For when I will get better
I will turn all this mess
Into beautiful shades of existence
Prior to what has held to evade norms
To change what was lost
To be claimed and found.


Tonight,
To feel what is certain
Yet leading to disappointment
Crying in vain to appease regret’s misery
I believe in fate
To a whole new life’s beginning
Displeasing life to graze within its end
Without it,
It has no meaning.


*Tonight,
The love we were once hurt to prevail
Learning to love and be loved again
And live in happiness until forever ends.
Everynight you'll have these thoughts that will haunt you till morning.
Insomnia. Let it rest.
Overcome it.
You are better than this!
You deserve every tinge of happiness in your dreams when you sleep.
So sleep and when you wake up,
Learn to love yourself again.
In your budding years,
they said you weren't beautiful.
Little did they know,
that a day would come,
when your petals would spread gloriously,
such sweet aroma, such beauty...
That was the day you started to bloom.

And then they spoke again.  
This time they said,
That you needed to draw attention,
to gain admiration.
And that being desirable,
made you valuable.

So you wanted to stand out,
from among the crowd.
"All eyes on me,
So that the people would see,
my charm, my wit, my beauty."

But then you looked into the mirror,
and you didn't like what you saw.
You didn't look like that ******* TV.
Your flat nose, your round face,
Your eyes that aren't as deep set.
Since she was the definition of pretty,
you wallowed in self-pity,
obsessing over your own flaws.

So you got busy.
Busy putting makeup,
and covering up flaws.
Concealing, contouring.

Busy dressing up,
Trying to look ****,
Showing what you got,
so that people think you're hot.

But you got it all wrong.
For they were all wrong.

They didn't tell you,
that there is beauty in modesty.
And that drawing people with your body,
might end up leaving you lonely.

And that relying on other's validation,
would always lead to disappointment.
And that everyone out there,
really just wants someone to care.

That always drawing attention,
is a selfish expression,
and that giving attention,
may warrant more admiration.

They didn't tell you,
that you were beautiful,
even before bloom,
even before budding,
even before birth.

They didn't tell you,
that you were beautifully,
and wonderfully made by God.
And that what you thought were flaws,
God called beauty.
This is a poem on how the views of society affects young women as we grow up.  I hope this will bless many beautiful ladies out there, and that they will start focusing on the beauty they were blessed with, and not fumble in insecurity.
 Nov 2014 Natalie Neo
Dark Smile
If only falling asleep were as easy as closing your eyes. If only I didn't have to fight a battle with them. If only I weren't always so exhausted. If only I could sleep without being haunted by your face.
 Nov 2014 Natalie Neo
Pen Lux
better to be silent
than say words
that are brittle
and break
under the
weight
of their meaning.

existing without living
waking and breathing
in short spurts of pain
too ***** to be touched
picked and scabbing
bleeding into dinner
kissing into sleep
choking
pushed away
love this is not
lust preserves the rot
my heart's in a knot
if only I was taught
I have insomnia
Because when the rest
Of the world is quiet,
I can hear myself think.
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