Even on your worst day
You shine like a thousand suns
If only you knew
How blinded I am
By how flawless you are
And why every syllable
I utter about you is the truth
When I describe you
From your head to your toes
I am speaking from the basement
Of my heart
Where I house memories
Of our first nights together
And our last nights
Where I fell in love
With your laugh
And the way you know yourself
Better than I know myself
And at night I pray
You never lose that spark
Deep inside of you
That caused a spark to ignite in me
Which will burn in my heart
And travel through every crevice
Of my soul
Until my heart has had enough
And suddenly stops on a dime
Never to beat again
For you
Or myself

I always liked to be optimistic in my fiction writing. My characters of course would face all the problems of the world, but never alone. They always had a friend or someone they could lean on. They never knew the sharp, cutting pain of what it means to be truly alone.
I can't read it when I'm lonely. Or ever, really. It stings to know I'll never have what I've always dreamed of.

I fell in love with an illusion
With feats and tricks
That made my heart skip.
I was happy, so happy,
That words would not suffice.
But soon I found the magician's hat
Just full of trickery and deceit
The grandest act was on it's way
But it wasn't just for me.

I fell in love with an illusion.

John. I haven't read one letter since you left. I'm scared to open an envelope and see the same note you left before you let your dreams, goals, days all hang from a rope. To be honest I don't know what it was that you needed to hear, what words could've saved your life. But I can say that old coffee shop feels emptier. My room feels colder. My eyes look darker. I don't smile at seasons changing anymore. I've been avoiding all mirrors because I can't bare to see myself without you.
    You were the best person I've ever met. It almost seemed unfair that I let such a perfect person be with a broken mess like me. You were so funny and the way your eyes lit up when you told a story...Oh God. I'm not religious but when you looked at me that way I thought we were both going to hell. Your laugh was all I needed to make a bad day better, oh what I would do to make you laugh.
   I know you hated long car rides and you knew I hated distance. Who knew 6 feet could feel longer than 100,000 miles.? Because now you're resting underground and I don't sleep without sleeping pills. I miss you so much. I miss you. I miss you.

Today a hurricane blew through
Its violent winds tore with every word.
Its icy rain poured at every noise.
It tore down walls and homes with mighty ease.
It devastated trees, roads, and bridges in the blink of an eye.
It left the survivor unscathed.
But when no relief effort arrived I realized,
It was all inside of my head.

..
~

hundreds of thousands of words,
we told through our whole life

tens of thousands of sentences,
you wrote in your novel

thousands of dreams,
we dreamed through our passing dark nights

millions of images,
we left in our moving past times

but my friend
at the end,
I carry

only a few images of withered petals
except all those nightmares
yet I can feel a few dreams of yours, repeatedly

even I can recall a few words of yours
that grew the motion of life
maybe you can feel a few words of mine

As  the words that can make a wonderful  lyric
"I love you, that holds an eternal truth"
yet that shining as a crystal of diamond
..
~
@Musfiq us shaleheen