I don't care if I break as long as I feel something.
Cause just being okay, is not okay.

My mind tells me I'm fine,                            
my memory gets worse with time.

My body tells me I'm fine                           
my health gets worse with time.

My soul is tired but I'm young                     
I guess I'm fine.

I will one day die,                                            
only to realize I was never fine.

I was never okay,                                            
It was all a lie.

You know me,
You see me.
You know my
thoughts,
my dreams,
when i sleep
and when i rise.
You know I'm imperfect
and You know there's so much
more to be done in me
and You love me,
not the me i will be
but the me that i am.

The fact that it's been 5 months
The fact that  you are gone
The fact that I can no longer call your voicemail and at least hear your voice there
The fact that this weight is crushing me
The fact that you would be getting married
The fact that you should have graduated
The fact that your nephew won't remember you
The fact that I can't hug you
Or yell "mom" at the top of my lungs
The fact that I still cry whenever someone talks about you
The fact that my best friend is gone

I miss you

I love the ocean but I hate the beach.
I feel out of place.
I feel it used to be our place.
A place we could run free.
A place where we could just be.
Listening to the waves crash down one on another just like our bodies crashing together.
I may never go back to the beach.
But every time I hear the waves it’s like I’m there again.

Same old story
Same old tale
But to you it never seems to get old
Have you ever considered the way it affects me
Or how much it hurts to see your glee

I am backing away
This time to never return
It's time for me to go
And for once ignore my rear view mirror
Goodbye