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  Oct 2017 Gemma
vxliangkylie
i'll chase the dreams that are part of my control,
and live the rest on fate's parole.
-
i am beyond what
i've perceived of me.
i just have to keep my eyes shut
and complete my journey.
the path ahead lies
my destiny
and i will rise
in order to be free.
-
  Oct 2017 Gemma
Angela Rose
He made sure I knew just how lucky I was to have him
But he never hit me
He played games with my emotions repeatedly
But he never hit me
He made sure I didn’t leave the house in a skirt above the knees
But he never hit me
He knew the words to say to make me feel so small that I could not breathe
But he never hit me
He tossed me in and out, in and out, until my mind was in an out of control tizzy
But he never hit me
He messed around on the side late at night while I rested in our bed
But he never hit me
He made it clear that I wasn’t to go out at night with the girls
But he never hit me
He told me over and over again just how hard it would be to find anyone else to deal with me
But he never hit me
He fell asleep safe and sound as I laid in bed trying to catch my breath through tears
But he never hit me
He needed to have the password to every device, app and account
But he never hit me
He knew the power he held and used it over my head to weaken me
But he never hit me
He made jokes at my expense in front of friends and family and we all giggled together instead of cringed
But he never hit me
He assured me the women he texted were coworkers or colleagues but I could never know what they spoke of
But he never hit me
He made it clear that my interests and goals were not of pertinence
But he never hit me
He knew the exact words to say to take my entire day downhill
But he never hit me
He broke my heart over and over and over again until it was minuscule shreds
But he never hit me
If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse please contact 1-800-799-7233 this is the national domestic abuse hotline. Abuse can happen to anyone, man or woman. It does not make you weak to seak help. <3
Gemma Oct 2017
I've let my body get so used I don't even want to touch myself anymore
My skin is not mine it is for anyone who wants it
My thighs are not the miraculous limbs that I owe my many great travels to, they are only miles of skin that begs to be touched.
My hair is not silk to cascade over my ears and frame my face, it's purpose is to be wrapped around your fingers and yanked.
Every ripple of pleasure
is a disguise for my disgust, the worthless feeling of being nothing more than a pretty new toy.
You do not worship me but you worship my ability to rip an ****** from your body.
You leave me used and abused in more ways than one
and just like a pretty new toy,
after you play with me
I become as worthless to you
as I have become to myself.
Gemma Oct 2017
i
i wish i had known who i was
long before these decisions
but without these decisions
would i have ever known?
Gemma Oct 2017
I knew that you were drowning
and I did everything I could do to help
I told you to look for the bird in the sky
to let you know that there's land nearby
I can't be there anymore
but I pray
that you can find that hope in yourself
because I know that you are in fact a strong swimmer
and with the right motivation
You can
and you WILL
get to land
let land treat you well, my dear friend
Gemma Sep 2017
I could read your eyes
like the simplest of children's books
I knew the words you spoke
as if I spoke them myself
We
were one in the same
Our hearts broke together
and we spent years
piecing them back, together
I know
every crack of your skin,
every vein in your body
I know the scents that make you weak
and the words that make you fall apart;
and in return
you knew my whole being
We shared an unspoken connection
-why didn’t that stop
my weak faith?
I was given a human
to read me like I ached to be read
yet I always knew that we would not remain
If you asked me why
I could not tell you
I think you knew it too
I'd catch your eye when those songs played
while those voices spoke of yearning for a broken connection
and I'd find them to be as wet as mine
I admire
your faith in us
whether it was because you truly believed it
or because you were afraid of the alternative
I admire that you would confidently tell me that our bond would remain
that we would only get better
Right until the very end
Maybe it was my fault that we didn't
Maybe I wasn't meant to have someone like you,
someone who stole away my independence and gave me another half
Maybe I was meant to be surrounded by distant people
for I wasn't ready
We were sent to each other for a purpose
for when we met
we were both on the edge of breaking
So we broke together
our pieces entertwining themselves
so as to not be alone
there's a great poem in here somewhere, but I will have to uncover it some other day
  Sep 2017 Gemma
tsel
beg
if you think of me,
i hope you remember
me as that friend who
was there for you all the time,
without asking anything in return,
partly because i know
you couldn't have given me
anything in return.

i would have to beg.
that's how you are.
pitv
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