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nick armbrister Jan 2020
You really should pop over here. It's a lovely place. The people are friendly, women drop dead ****, towns historical and old, sea unbelievably swimmable, mountains steep and green, sky is blue blue blue. Don't take my word for it. See for yourself. All are welcome here. There's only one problem. The location is secret.
from Picnic by Jimmy Boom Semtex
nick armbrister Jan 2020
I knew this couple once. Larry and May. They were quite normal. Nothing unique. Then one day, they did something mad. I don't know if it was spontaneous or what. They met up with another couple. Lisa and Don.
I'm not sure if anything ***** went on. Maybe it did. What happened after that was of note. The ordinary couple ceased being that. They swapped partners! Not in bed. No, in real life.
They made two new couples. Larry and Lisa and May and Don! Was it a joke or drunken prank? Whatever it was, it was forever now. They all moved into the same house.
And they planned a double wedding. I want an invite. What would the neighbours say? Curtains everywhere would be twitching.
from Picnic by Jimmy Boom Semtex
nick armbrister Jan 2020
What they did to Debbie was beyond compare
Anywhere else except in this **** town
A real lady came from afar to heal the sick
Persons unknown took her happiness

Did their despicable act and slew her life
They respected her religion by crossing her
But not her body by using two big knives
Two decades on the killers are free

Just showing that you can escape justice
And get away with ****** in this town
One day karma will intervene
And set Debbie free

All that is right must win
All that is wrong will lose
Bar Steward Town
Karma judges all
nick armbrister Jan 2020
They said do not change seats on the plane

For we know your name and where you are sat

I am called Fred and I was sat in the aisle seat

I wanted to sit by the window and see the view

Especially as the big Boeing flying boat took off

The water looked so blue and lovely as we sped along

We took off and it was worth changing seats

The elderly man understood and changed

The view was awesome and to die for

The big engines pulling us along to the sky

When we arrived in New York I’d tell my mum

It was Christmas and I had been staying with my aunt

The trip was six hours and I got to look out the window

I would get into trouble if the airline clerks found out

If we crashed and burned or eaten by fish

They would go off our name and seat number

Matching it up to our ticket and passport

I was too young to have a passport

But that was fine for we were safe in the plane

Boeing built big safe planes especially water ones

Just wait till I told my mum about the view

From our big beautiful Boeing flying boat...
from an old film
nick armbrister Dec 2019
The way you look in your army uniform
In the Colombian jungle between battles
Is just ******* awesome baby

You remove the uniform against orders
Put on a blue dress under the trees
I lift up your dress on your thighs

See your lovely legs so demure
I see the army helicopter tattoo there
Such machines carry you and me
Into the heat of battle

Right now I feel a different heat
That of your hot body
Under the midday sun
Adding to your heat for me

I lift your dress over your shoulders
I see your lovely ******* wobble free
Just imagine the guerrillas saw us now

What would they think and do?
Stop and stare or stop and shoot?

You and me here in the jungle
Between ops against the terrorists fighters
We are both soldiers and do what we do

Our army supports us both
Being together and as soldiers
For anything can happen in battle
Like falling in love in a drug war
nick armbrister Dec 2019
My next door neighbour told me a funny story the other day
It’s about Phyllis who lives down the road
She was out with her fancy piece called Tommy getting laid
Having a **** in his car down a country lane
She was there with her legs open not thinking of her husband
Going at like a prize stallion chasing a filly winning his race
Then Tommy cried out in pain and started crying
Phyllis thought he was joking about
‘Oh **** it! My back has gone Phyllis! Call the Fire Brigade!’
‘You gotta be joking Kev. But hey! I love a man in uniform.’
Kev managed to reach his hands free kit and call 999
Within five minutes the fire engine arrived
Four beefy firemen in uniform assessed the situation
Hiding their smirks they planned what to do
One fireman got the Jaws of Life from the fire engine
It took several minutes to cut the roof off Kev’s Jaguar
His expensive cool motor was now a convertible!
Then over the next hour they slowly lifted Kev upwards
And placed him in a rigid stretcher to minimise further injury
An ambulance arrived and Kev was taken to hospital
Phyllis got busy ******* and ******* each of the firemen
In Kev’s convertible Jag which was now a ******* parlour...
nick armbrister Dec 2019
HEARTBREAK
Young French woman is very pregnant and about to give birth to a baby. She lives in a remote area so the air ambulance helicopter is called, a state of the art Eurocopter with a highly trained crew. Modern helicopter and trained crew, they know what they’re doing. Pick up the girl to take her to hospital, arrive in style in a cool chopper. Time moves on exceedingly fast, medic aboard the Eurocopter tends the girl. She’s soon plus one when she gives birth to a baby. That bit is over. Young mum did her bit, now the pilot must fly them safely to hospital so all can be well. It’s not to be, helicopter flies through a snow blizzard. Something isn’t right, should they be allowed to fly in atrocious weather? Is it an all weather helicopter with a crew trained to fly in the snow? Was it at night? They baby graced God’s earth for two minutes, bringing the mother happiness. Then the helicopter flew into an Alpine mountainside killing all aboard. What an unreal heartbreaking story. I read about this in the Attrition Section in Air Forces Monthly magazine. I’m still incredulous and sad that this ever happened. A smashed helicopter with dead flight crew and dead family who never had the chance to see any of life’s potential in any way. I wonder what God thinks about this? Never mind the grieving father. Think of what could have been?
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