bathing in the light of the sun,
surrounded by the beauty of the world
by night i'm gazing at the stars
awash in the glow of the moon
and i love my little galaxy
this universe, created from fantasies,
existing solely for me
what god exists that made you all my reality
my sun, my world, my moon and stars
and the planets between, unique and
alive, so alive despite no signs
of yet loving life
if i were a god i'd make it so
that you all fell in love
with life and love and happiness
and they fell for you, too

I saw you, far away
In the dreamscape
But I knew you

Our souls touched
Only for a moment
A singularity

Did you see me
Did you feel me
Magnetic attraction

Are you here
In the real
Or just an illusion

I felt you
But I don't know you
Yet I do

Dreams fade like smoke
Yet I still feel you
I still seek you

I search every face
As my heart bleeds
Will I find you

Fantasy grips me
As I wish for sleep
To see you again

Find me in the real
My heart ebbs
Waiting for you

A silver thread connects us
Between two worlds
Reach out for me

Realities collide
Dimensions overlap
If only for a moment

Two burning hearts
Lost in time and space
Seeking true love

Dear Daddy,
Do you know what these men say to me?

With their
eyes and their mouths
when I walk on the street.

With a grin and a nod
and a look up and down.
A wink and a kiss
and a cat call heard from downtown.

With my skirt short
and my top
low,
It’s a cold world daddy
and no
doesn’t mean no.

Daddy do you know
how these men look at me?

Like I’m a piece of meat
strutting down the street?
With my head buds in
and my favorite song on.

I’m asking for it Daddy,
I’m in the wrong.

Do you know how it feels
not to wear what I like?

To walk a little faster
when I’m alone at night?

Daddy the world is my predator
and I am it's doe,
Daddy what happens
when I can’t say no?

Interrupted my latest terrible nightmare with desire to start this morning with alacrity,
I want to feel alive.
Today was unlike yesterday or the day before that or the day before that…
Unkempt? No. Today, I am not a mess, no matter how much more comfortable I feel to be.
“C’mon” I tell myself, “breathe… 1, 2, 3… breathe.” Here comes anxiety, my best friend.
Always here, it never leaves.
So used to the stoic nature I create for myself when I go out,  zero emotions whatsoever for anything, everything.
I think of myself with such animosity, hatred fills my mind.
Vacillating my thoughts, I can’t decide. Do I fight off this “great” friend of mine or do I settle?
Fight off? Can I?
Nice try.
Another fiasco this morning, complete failure. Will it always be this difficult?
I get dizzy. I feel nebulous, so unclear and confused.
Trying to get out of bed, I force myself to feel less maudlin, less emotional for once
Seeing my family in the morning, I seem boorish. Where are my manners?
Succinct conversations, it’s all so brief. “Good Morning” “Hmm…” “You okay?” “Yep.”
I always make them the scapegoat of my self-pity, as if they’re at fault for my mind’s catastrophe.
They probably think that I am never complacent towards them, I don’t try to please them even when it comes to the way they feel… especially that.
One day they might just stop being so kind and it wouldn’t be fortuitous to me, no surprise.
Though I am completely deserving of that, I’d hate for it to happen.
I tend to purposely cause rifts in friendships, I just have to break apart all my friendships.
All these mood swings can become shameful.
Being so adroit with anxiety is shameful, I’ve mastered living life with anxiety and it’s so unhealthy.
It’s the one and only relationship I cannot get rid of.
My best, best friend, anxiety.