they tell me that self care
is one of the most important things
you can do for yourself.
okay,
but like,
how exactly do i do that?
i tried lighting scented candles.
they were nice
but the scent began to fade away
just like my friends.
oops,
did i say that?
i tried taking a warm shower,
but the moment i stepped out,
it was cold.
i regretted getting in
to begin with,
just like my experience with boys.
i tried sleeping,
but eventually i had to wake up,
and sometimes there were nightmares.
it's nice to just go unconscious for hours
but not so much when drifting
gets you nowhere,
just like in life.
the internet just stresses me out,
no matter how many
candy pulling videos
i watch
(don't ask,
they're relaxing)
i'm pretty sure my stress is
unchanged
by all this.
i'm tired.
can i just go back to bed?
my therapist keeps telling me to do self care and i'm like ????okay???~