Those silly songs;
so sad but true
With lost feelings
of me and you

I played it on
with the tape's side A
Felt like blossoms of dawn
and flowers of May

I flipped the tape
Found side B's empty
The same thing I get
Every time you look at me

"You'll get over this."
You once confided
That's what our love is;
Too one-sided

How can I sleep when my thoughts are still awake.
How can I sleep, when my heart feels like it is going to break?
how can I stay awake when my mind is falling apart, with its flowers closing in thoughts,
how can I stay awake, when I am tired, dripping down into the waters, fading away into the nothingness of my mind.
How? Ever, can I be who you want me to be?
When it is so hard to even fall asleep,
When it is so hard to fall back into dreams.
It's probably possible,
to be who you are,
but I need your help,
to go where you are.

wishes made
candles blew
now waiting
for it to come true
waiting for so long
but nothing seems to come
wishes were made
but i don’t see them coming true

Set the alarm
Lock the doors
Lock the windows
Lock the shutters
Find the cricket bat – “put it by your bed”
Say goodnight to mom and dad

Although young, not naïve
I knew every night had the possibility of being my last

A routine that is now muscle memory.

Fear –
You may think
But life –
Normal for me.

Wake up
Turn off the alarm
Unlock the doors
Open the windows
Open the shutters
Put the cricket bat in the cupboard

Never being able to be left alone at home. Unwillingly dragged from store to store.

But – that’s the thing –
People don’t know the real Her,
They know the exquisite scenery, the unforgettable wildlife
They don’t know… But I do.
Because She is my home
Because being in constant fear for my life –
is normal.

Confused –
What do I tell people about Mother when they ask?
The person who raised me, taught me how to be grateful, how to ride a bike,         how to love.
Do I tell them? Will I scare them?

Although hidden beneath the tyranny – I would say –
the bloodshed
the faces of malnourished children left for dead on the side of the road the poverty struck soil the corruption      the greed the hunger the death the separation of class and race

Although a place feared –
Africa.

My Africa –
Whose sunshine you feel ignited in your soul
My Africa –
Whose smile is irresistibly contagious
My Africa –
Whose heart lies in the grassy terrain
The golden dunes of sand
The never-ending mountain tops
My Africa –
Who is the heart of various people
           cultures
   languages
          All who call Her home.
She is –
Where my heart lies even if I am thousands of miles away
Where my mind wanders from day to day.

Her air, instantly calls you
Her smell, instantly smelt
Welcoming you ever so dearly –
      Home.

Like all good mothers,
She is the one who can handle both the tranquil and turmoil,
the love and war.

She is my home. She is who I fear of disappointing.

My Africa –
is beautiful.

i trust you,
i really do.
and i know you have been hurt before, i might not have a clue on what they did
but please.
would you take this chance?
i know everyone is untrustworthy, untrustable,
they can be, and that they can throw you away in the dump, and just glance at you before they leave you.
to only come back again, different.
and i know that you might not trust me back.
but, would you trust someone who wants you to trust him so badly,
that he just doesn't understand why you won't trust him.
i know that isn't me.
but would you, just this time,
to trust in God, after all this time?

Maybe I should just let go and let love show me the way.
Maybe I should start a conversation a friendship that would last throughout the ages.
Maybe I should do everything in love for the other. For the Love of God.
Maybe, I have been doing it all wrong.
That I haven't been loving.
That I haven't been kind.
That I haven't been compassionate.
That I haven't been there for them
That I haven't been caring.
That I haven't been speaking for those who have no voice.
That I have been too silent.
That I haven't been beside those who are sick.
That I haven't been the one to place my hand on another shoulder .
That I haven't been the one to comfort.
That I haven't been the one to sit with a lonely other.
That I haven't been the one to love.
To love another. No matter what.
To love the right places.
To love.
That I haven't been the one to love...
to love...
to love...
love...