i put my head in an oven and got baked

writing is like cookie dough
there's a recipe
that has been tried and proven
and many people have gotten
famous from it
but just because you follow it
doesn't mean you'll get the
same result

what do i have to do to be noticed by you
would i catch your attention if i crashed a car
yesterday i climbed on the roof and did twenty jumping jacks
does my incredible emotional instability repel you
do you want to cuddle me until i never have those thoughts
please just answer my text

i am good at unrequited love-having
and extra long bath-taking
and forever self-pitying

Pam Beesly
she shines so bright I sneeze-ly
and then fall onto my knees-ly.

My chest begins to seize-ly
whenever I see Ms Beesly,
and my brain begins to freeze-ly
so my coworkers then tease-ly.

It's unfair just how measly
my existence is to Ms Pam Beesly
but few things are said more easily
than Ms Beesly is the bees knees-ly.

when i was younger and i got sick all the time
my mom used to give me ginger ale
in order to soothe my stomach

as i got older and the sickness went from my
stomach to my head i kept on drinking
i thought maybe it would help the churning

it didn't

if only it were as easy
stick a needle
coated in positive thoughts
and have them stay
as permanent in the body
as the ink in a homemade tattoo

i don't know what heliotrope is
besides it has a wonderful scent

so i'm determined to smell nice
in the hope that maybe i'll at least
be remembered for something good

wrote sad poems
tweeted sad tweets
thought sad thoughts
felt sad things
fell asleep sad
woke up happier
read sad poems
listened to sad songs
wrote sad journal entry
sat there sad

i ****** up
now someone wants to **** me up
so **** my life