Nightmares hurt.
The emotional pain,
and the physical pain.
I can't count
how many times
I've woken up
to be
haunted by
my own
mind
and what
I think of.
I can't even
imagine
the times
I've woken up
with a
headache,
a heartache,
or both.
I can't begin
to reason
why my mind
has such a
vivid
perception
of what
a gunshot
feels like.
Or what
drowning
would be like.
But I've
dreamed them
so many
times,
It feels
like I've
lived them.
And please don't think
for a second
that's every
night.
There are the
good dreams
too.
The happy ones
where
everything
is alright.
But those hurt
way more.
Because
when I wake up,
I can
feel them being
torn away
by Morning.

Your blushes are the reason for my sweet tooth

Even your ghost of a smile sends me into a sugar rush

My breath hitches as I listen to your intoxicating laugh

The only kind of 'being lost' that I enjoy is .....
being lost in the universe of your eyes

The feeling overwhelms me

The electricity that sparks in my body
   when I hold your hand
     Goes straight to my heart
And explodes like fireworks inside my body

The 'oh so amazing' voice of yours
....which doesn't compare to the opera of Angels

Oh! And that scar....
The scar which is embedded like a trophy on your left arm
It is an evidence which showcases and reminds the world and me that you are still a human being

All your imperfections blended with your serenity presents the ultimate version of 'YOU'.

All the more reason to LOVE YOU

~ Pacific Wolf
©copyright Pacific Wolf

I am struggling
I have a lust for love
I feel lost without it

Romantic fuel
I'm dead without it

Breathe life back into my soul
I lack a fever
I lack lust
Or love

Sometimes I forget that people change. The people you've been with won't stay with you for long. I get so used to being a part of a group that when I'm back to being a singular or solitary molecule, it feels heartbreaking.

I tend to forget that people change. Like from solid to liquid to gas. Shifting forms as they grow. Blowing up, deflate, compress; changing their mentality, preferences and their whole being to suit their surroundings.

I honestly keep forgetting the part that we'll never really remain solid. We're real life forms, changing into complex, different states of matter. And sometimes when I think there are only three states, I discover that they change into a fourth one. Or more. And I can't remain the same as what I prefer or feel comfortable with.

-m.b

Fog lays like a pale figure in an uncomfortable chair
languishing
and I lay too
with a full heart
under a duvet
yet awake in the dark
as the electric fan ticks away in the corner
and on the street there is no one
not delinquent teenagers
not stupefied drunks
not star-crossed lovers in the cold

just the vapor in the air
too lukewarm to form hoarfrost
too cool to disperse

the streetlights are refracted into orbs of blue light
hanging with a soft buzz
over wet asphalt,
beacons for no one,
no thing.

Re-ject-ion
I can’t even type it whole
I’ve never said it out loud
I’ve whispered it
Like some people whisper the
word ***
But I’ll never be bold enough
to just say it
It’s the most heart wrenching
word ever created
It consumes my every thought
Yet I refuse to acknowledge it
exists
I prefer the words desired, accepted, loved.

I do not want this word Re-ject-ion