You left me a bruise
the kind you don't realize you have until long after the incident.
A purple tinged skin of a mistake
from pushing too hard and too far
searching for love,
love that would never come.
I cried and begged you for you to want me,
you said you did,
but I saw those messages to her,
and the other girls.
You lied.
You never wanted me.
You only wanted ***
when I wouldn't give it to you
you left.
Left me hanging
from a noose
choking for life.
I screamed for you to come back
I would have given you my all
I was too late.
I realized it
and so did my wrists
as a blade met them
blood ran down my hands
as I left blood soaked fingerprints
on letters
you would never see.
I've shredded those letters now
its been over two years
since I promised I would **** myself if you didn't love me.
I took the crumped notebook and rusty razor blades
out to the trash and threw them away
without a second thought
like you threw away my heart.
The bruise has faded now,
the bruise you left me
the purple has faded to a yellow
you may not notice it at first glance
but when I push on it just right
the same deep-throbbing pain
as when I first received it
shoots through my body
I bite my teeth and curse your name
If it wasn't for your big brown eyes
I would have never gotten myself into that mess.
Do you have any idea the pain you caused me?
or were you too blinded by your own scars to see mine?
Sometimes, I believe, pain blinds us all to the point that we don't even realize when we're hurting others the way someone else hurt us.