Our first date you took me to eat gumbo
At a seafood place
And I threw up.

Maybe it was a warning
Maybe it was food poisoning
Either way, I stayed
Because loving you was not rocket science
But it wasn't easy either.

Our second date you took me to the zoo
And as I glanced at the black and white stripes
That wrapped around every zebra, I thought
Hey. Sometimes you're only black or white
Always seeing
Always being one way or another
And never in between
It wasn't fair to me.

Maybe I should have left right then and there.
In the end, I stayed
Why did I stay?
Because loving you was not rocket science
But hell, it wasn't easy either.

Our third date you took me to the moon.
Metaphorically of course
Not literally
Because.. how could we?
Anyway, you took me to the moon and back
And baby, it was a blast.
Fires raging
Speeds changing
My heart racing as quickly as one possibly could.

The fourth date proved that loving you
Was more like rocket science than it was easy.

By the fifth and final date
Our flames had faded away.
All that was left was black smoke
And a bright, white light that I walked into
Because I knew that it was my time to leave you.

I think the thing I miss most about you is your laugh,
The way your eyes would shut
And your nose would scrunch up
And your head would fall back,
Loud cackles turning into silence as you gasped for air.
Your cheeks would turn tomato red,
And I know you hated it, but,
Baby, to me it was magic.
Your laughter was a tune that I never wanted to leave my head.

I know you're gone,
I know that,
But I still think about your laugh,
Hear it, even.
I want it to stop.
I want the laughter to go away.

Because, baby, I know you're not laughing anymore.

I'm staring up at the ceiling
again
Thinking of ways I could
fix myself

Permanent removal
from a temporary life.

Coincidentally, I saw your eyes
before I last blinked mine

Let's be honest, I was willing
to go
If it meant
you'd look at me the same.

honey you can **** me
but only if you're lonely
are you desperate enough?
will you mask your pain with glistening sweat
and hold me down with every breath?
will you tell me you love me
then leave when you're done?
honey, are you lonely enough to need someone?

Today I heard the words
I'd been waiting to hear for 34 days
But they weren't from your lips
and it wasn't your voice
that carried the short string of words to my ear.

Yes, they were beautiful.
but
he's
just
not
you.

and
While I tried to keep my heart
from breaking..
I shattered his.