ilike to write out my thoughts
With matching words
So that I read them to others
And maybe make them smile
Just to make my thoughts worth a while

ilike to write out my thoughts
on a blank paper
So I fill it in black and white
For my darker times, they may sparkle a light

ilike to write out my thoughts
forming poetic rhymes
So that someday when I am enraged
they hold me from crossing lines

ilike to write out my thoughts
often within my imagination
which I soon forget
After all, death is, to every creation..

Today the rain pours
As I wait for my shift to begin I sit in my car
My hair is wet, I'm nursing a deep wound
Which will become yet another scar

I cracked open the window to my heart
Ever so slightly
Reluctantly to allow a warm island breeze to roll in
Instead I experienced a turbulent wind

I let my guard down like never before
I opened the door
Thinking we were something more

Now I sit confused and disheveled
Face full of tears
An emotional flood
Perhaps it was I who misunderstood

You see, I took your word as true
Rememer, those three little words you spoke?
"I love you"
Empty now they seem
Extrodinary how a heart changes so quickly
I'd like to make this break clean

The last words spoken by you the other night
Do you remember the ones after the fight?
"This is me giving up for now
I'll talk to you tomorrow babe, I love you
Good night"

Those words gave me false reassurance
As these arguments are a regular occurance
You'd tell me time after time
"Babe we'll be fine"
Why on earth did I believe that line?

My own stupidity
Has gotten the best of me
As I delusionally imagined how truly loved by you I'd be

As with protocol you told me to go
So I gave you your space
That is our bi-weekly flow
But you changed entirely
You didn't call like you said you would

Colder than the deepest ocean
You tell me now,
"We're not together so what does it matter?"
To this I reply "I love you"
And then your harsh words cut me like a knife
"I don't, we are done"
You love me no longer
The heartless tone said all I need to know

I don't understand what happened but it did
The trust I worked so hard to release to you after months
Is shattered and jagged on the floor

Some people go through lovers like water
But that is not me,
I let people in very selectively
When I love, I love truly and deeply
Sometimes months, even years, go by
Before I'll look a man in the eye

I know with time, I'll be fine
You'll move on and forget my face
Rise to fame and bring pride to your family's name
But I'll always keep my door open just the same

So for now I sit and wipe away my tears
Recounting the steps as I reel from the shock
Of something seemingly small that has ended it all
I have to put on a happy face
As I enter the workplace

The time past
and so do memories.
My mind is numb
and I felt nothing,
but sadness.
I'm empty
but my hand
and
my heart
are not unison.
I'm curious
but I'm scared
for I no longer can write
because now night time
is just darkness
and an empty room literally.

When Friday buried Thursday
at the cemetery
I was eating eggs and
bacon in my bathrobe.
The other days wore black
attire to the burial
and brought white geraniums.
I stood in silence for three minutes
after I finished my breakfast
then wrote a note for the weekend:

“My time will come,
don’t wait for me,”

and left.

It is January, I know,
but there is warmth in me for now
as if Spring had shaken off low clouds
and washed away these ragged heaps of snow.

It will pass,
this early bloom of light,
and we shall turn to trudging, once again,
the icy paths we walk from car to house.

Like that fugitive queen,
you leave Winter in your wake.
Wield that weather gently, love:
You bring a Spring to us who urge you on.

When I look back at the things I had
The things that now are gone
I was planting seeds of division
But the trees grew tall and strong

I used to see for miles around
But now the forest grows
Beneath the shade of branches
Are secrets no one knows

At first it was a place to hide
An oasis on barren lands
But holding on to a past that's gone
Was just leaving time on my hands

For years I must have wandered
Abandoning all that was good
I thought I knew my way out
But now I'm lost in the woods