Hello my friend
I am glad you are here
We have much to discuss!
I have missed you
While you were away
Wandering.
It is hard to be
When the spirit is elsewhere

I walk where I fear to tread
I bathe in the darkness
Surrender to its cold embrace
And find home in its arms

Will you follow me?
You, who lives in the sun
Who walks in joy
And relishes the dawn

We are One
Two sides of the same coin
Joined but facing away
United in experience

Bring your joy into the night
As I bring my calm to the day
We are One you and I
We bathe in the same pool

I left home
Aged 10
Put on a bus and away I went
Gone to oblivion
Into the void
Mum standing on the platform
Growing smaller as the bus drove away
Already gone.
Now a man, I return to that bus
Where that boy should have never been.
I take him in my arms
And hold him,
I will not let him go!
He can come home to me,
Stay with me in my home-heart.
We can be together, friends, brothers, partners, companions at arms.
You are safe now with me my boy!
I will not let you go.

Hello, my name is fear,
Can you hear me?
Hello, I am despair,
I have a message...
I am rage,
I wish to tell you something...
Are you listening?
If you listen carefully
I will whisper a secret to you
Which no one on this world knows.
But you must listen.
To do this, find stillness in yourself
Find the eye of the storm
Find the courage not to run
To distraction or pleasure
But to sit
Or stand
Or walk
Into the raging inferno of your being
With your eyes open,
Your heart open,
Full of curiosity!
And wonder...
"Who made this?"

Today I stood for a hour beneath a tree
The rain steadily falling
Cascading. Bouncing through the leaf canopy
Of golden ocher
Leaves fell
Rain fell
And I was at peace

Stillness that I have not felt for... Many months

I awake to a cool splash on my nose
It runs down my fave and I wipe it away
The forest sings to me
A gentle pitter patter melody
Leaves greet the earth
And I am still


A leaf lands on my arm

Holled up
locked
enclosed
I will not leave the house today.
Why?
as if you need to ask
why?
well,
it is
because.....
well ....
I have no answer.
Something may happen!
what you ask
something ,  that would be bad
So you are scared you ask
Yes I am scared
but scared is not the word
encased in fear would say it better
it sits in my stomach like a black ball
clouds my mind like a fog
the surf is good today. I could go to the beach
but it is outside
and something might happen

"Keep quiet because you might be seen,
Keep quiet because you may not be known!
Be quiet
Stay silent
Say nothing,
Or little as is safe.
Do nothing or you may be noticed.
Do nothing or you may be counted,
Exposed,
Lit by the spotlight of community.
Stay safe,
Stay hidden,
Above all do not rock the boat,
Neither yours or anothers.

Keep your head down
and remain."

This was my advice to you,
It worked.
Was it good advice?
Did you survive?
Are you not here surviving?

But where are you now?
Have you escaped that institution?
No.
You are still there.
Locked inside that prison tomb until death takes you on its sweet ride to freedom...
or not.

I am here now and so are you
I am the one which emerged,
You are the one who hid,
And remained hidden.
And continues to hide.
I do not much care for you,
And you are too scared to challenge my place in our life
And too scared to meet the world from which you hid.
Yet we together are not happy.

I am...
what is the word?
a shadow?
Relying on others fleeting glances to function.
Like a magicians illusion,
Aware that a true gaze will reveal me,
Undo me
And see you.

Who are you?
We do not know
Because...
You so rarely show yourself.
Scared,
Alone,
You seek solitude.
And so do not discover your self which  
May only be known through others.
Through the sword or pillow play of true interaction
Of vulnerability, conflict and loss.
Through life, adventure and the longing of the soul.
Like a rock falling from a cliff,
Leaving its home of a thousand thousand years
To emerge into a sunlit day
And be worn,
Tossed by the sea,
Ground,
Ground smooth by natures abrasion.
To reveal and polish
Those fossils,
Those relics of the past,
So that they may be beautifully displayed
Not hidden.
Showing its path through time and space.