"buy him a dog, shut him up"

Will a Malamute make Matty mute?

**** no

he'll write a tell-all with Brad Renfro
burn bridges and **** kin-folk
say, "**** all y'all, then"

spread violence with silence
breathing through eyelids
going off on tirades inside his head

he's a little out there
but don't despair
he wears clean underwear
opens doors for strangers
dismisses all dangers
talks **** to gang bangers

so, ******* and your 84 IQ
and know this much is true:

you don't have a clue 'bout the distance 'tween he and you

buy him a dog

shut him up

know this:

you are special
you are different
you are unique

you are that sparkle in my eye

sometimes, the sparkle is a tear or two

almost always from a happy place

a place, full of pride

I've never had much pride in anything
but I found pride in you

I felt something when we first met
but then I got to know you
and I was impressed
in awe
inspired
and amazed

by a six year old girl ?
that's just not possible
is it?

I wouldn't have believed it either
and it is probably very rare
but like I said

you are special
you are different
you are unique
you are that sparkle in my eye,

occasionally, that sparkle is a tear or two
sometimes, from a sad place
those tears used to return to that sad place
a feedback loop
exponentially increasing sadness
until I realized your true character
and how it rendered the tears unnecessary

nothing will ever bring you down

whenever I feel sad, I think of you
how strong you are
and the sadness fades

you are special
you are different
you are unique
you are that sparkle in my eye
the sparkle that says I'm alive
and the reason I am alive

I've been meaning to thank you
but just don't know how
consider this a stab at doing so

here are the facts you need to know:

I barely get to see you anymore
I miss you more than you know
I have plans to fix that

sometimes I'm afraid that you've grown up
and no longer care to see me
unlike boys, all little girls mature [giggle, here]
and all little girls change
that change is not always good

children have special qualities
they almost always fade with age
but I have learned never to doubt you
you will hold onto the good qualities
of which you have too many to count

many are found in your heart
love, compassion, empathy
some are a bit mysterious
they must come from the gut
I would say *****, but, well, you know

you fearless courage of lion
hints towards confidence
and strong belief in self
having that makes nothing impossible

then there's your anxiety inducing quality

I think it's called bravery
but it scares the **** out of those who love you

do not worry about scaring people with your bravery

it is a part of who you are
a part of what makes me say

you are special
you are different
you are unique
you are that sparkle in my eye
and I need you to know that

If one day I disappear
leaving no trace
seemingly vanishing into thin air
know that I had good reason to
know that I found a good fight
good enough leave all else behind
never to return
know that I had you in mind
know that I'll be just fine
It was time
time to do something
time to shape change
time to leave a mark
Smile at Sun up
Smile at Sun down
never cry in between
not for me
not now
not then
promise me that

There's nothing good about that look

I see it in your eyes and bite my lip
make that little sound my grandfather used to make

Two little pulls of air between front teeth and tongue

As if to say, "too bad" or "awe shucks"

That's the best I can do

It's regrettable but oh so forgivable
There's nothing more to give you
There's no more that anyone can
A fact I know because I know the look so well

A look I never knew until I saw it leaving me

Now I see it everywhere I look
and I remember the feeling

I think I always had it and thought I was alone

Without it I appear alone and feel alone,

yet know different

We are an odd bunch
all of us

So many stuck in the corners

UnAware of the stage
UnAware of the show
just a turn away

a party we are a part of

All of us

A strange group, indeed

I wish you could see us

But I know that look and you are not alone

I wish I could tell you
Maybe you already know
How would I know
You could never tell and I'd never believe
A strange group we are
All of us

Sad Jesus

I saw Jesus just the other day
He was wearin' a sad, sad face
Tears were streamin' down his cheeks
And he was grinding his teeth

I said "what's wrong?"
But he didn't respond
I said "cheer up"
"Don't you ever give up"

We watched the sun go down
He reached out to hold my hand
I reached out both arms wide
Hugged him and pulled him close

I said "what's wrong?"
But he didn't respond
I said "cheer up"
"Don't you ever give up"

He saw more than one sun setting
Each star going down somewhere
Weight of the universe on his shoulders
Each star a forgotten dream

I said "what's wrong?"
But he didn't respond
I said "cheer up"
"Don't you ever give up"

He couldn't find a rhyme or reason
That he should listen to me
Tears streamed down his cheeks
As the day turned dark

I said "what's wrong?"
But he didn't respond
I said "cheer up"
"Don't you ever give up"

she is a beautiful being
inside
outside
each and every corner
she picks her nose
wears frumpy clothes
i love her
love is a gift
tears turn corners
bending in the light
sliding inside silent nights
so sorry for such less than love
leaving lingers, love life
lick lips, smile
give more
send more
believe more
be
she is a beautiful being
inside
outside
each and every corner
i love her

people tell themselves lies

the past was better

it could have been

it should have been

something good and clean is coming

just beyond the next door

or wreckage is sure to be found

dwelling on ***** footprints left on clean floors

or ruminating on memories of accomplishment

all prove pointless

closed eyes draw up decor plans of  imaginary next moves

a chess game never played

bringing blame and hate

to every stage, and every game

appreciate the room that needs work

floors to be mopped

shelves to be dusted

windows to be cleaned

that brings hope

books sitting in shadows should be given light

I may not leave it all behind in a search for nothing

but I hope to leave enough

enough to l know I've passed

enough to know I was there

to know I cared

a little anyway

enough to search for more

beyond open doors

past nonchalant glances

and end-zone dances

towards high-****** rewards

and self assured back pats

just for now

I want nothing

just for now

I have everything

just for now

if you look hard enough
for long enough
for something
one day
you just might find
nothing at all
and it will be everything you ever wanted
all that you need
a good find
a great day
so, stop looking
you look like an idiot

Jesus: My Friend

I once shared a room for a week with Jesus
He smoked Marlboros and enjoyed beef jerky
People called him Zach
But he was Jesus to me
He heard voices and paced the rug all day
He was ******* the rug
He was ******* me
When we smoked he would pace...
back and forth in the snow making a path,
telling me that he was jesus
and that I had an evil laugh
He once told a girl to stop farting in his pacing space
I thought that was the funniest thing I ever heard
There were times that Jesus made me nervous
He would get an evil look on his face
and then he would smile
and tell me the world was going to end
He talked alot about the world ending
and what needed to be saved
I was on top of that list
I told him I didn't need to be saved
and that I didn't believe in God
It hurt him to know I didn't believe in his father
He was an interesting character
He had a drug problem and was schizophrenic
I have a drug and alcohol problem and I'm crazy
Together, we could save the world
He was a conservative and I, a liberal
Our politics clashed
but we didn't clash
Jesus and i got along just fine
I would tell him he was a fool
for blaming the worlds ills on liberals
He would smile and tell me I was the devil
Together we would laugh
We disagreed on most everything
We disagreed with smiles
One day I left in an ambulance
Jesus paced in his usual spot in the day room
I could see him smiling
As if to say "I told you so"
As if to say "Everything will be okay"
After a few days I was released from the hospital
I often spent time wandering the streets
One day I met a man out for a stroll with a cigarette
It was Jesus
He looked so glad to see me
He said hello and called me Mike
I said Hi and called him Zach
We must have been using code names
His secret was not yet known
As I passed him we both turned around and smiled
We both knew things had changed
We knew we had to go our separate ways
We did, but halfway down the block I turned
to catch one more look at the son of God
I still think of Jesus on a regular basis
I should have had more time for him
But I have a feeling he's doing just fine
And I smile when I think about Jesus,
somewhere out there saving the world

I walked for hours and couldn't believe my eyes
the sun should not be there
but it was
just beneath the lowest bow of the oak
just above the shrubline
waiting to set
I sat on the bench
lit a cigarette
had a drink of water
i called my mother
asked her if she was watching the sun
she said that she saw it
i told her to smile
and i smiled
everything was going to be okay
I just wanted my mom to know
that her sun would always be there

He has been waiting for this
His whole life
Mekong river delta
Sticky prickly heat
Ice calm blood red water
Fiery orang sky
He's swimming out
Further and further
Thinking of all the men
Who die in wars
Thinking of the friends
That he's seen die
He can't reach bottom
He gasps for air
Curiously not out of breath
Marilyn Monroe reaches out her hand
She is singing Phil Collins
"In The Air Tonight"
She knows what he did
He can't reach her
She smiles
Continues to sing
He should wipe off that grin
She knows where he's been
It's all been a pack of lies
She stops to speak
But no words come out
He reaches out
She does not
The sunset takes over
The fiery, now red sky
Black shadows on blood red sea
A soft raspy voice says
"I'm here"
Then nothing
Silence
A ceiling
Reality

Unforced Smile

this is just a warning
if you see me bite my lip
while staring into space
I'm probably deep in though
hearing a song
a hopeful melody
with two part harmony
imagining you and I
together again
if i squint my eyes
I'm sharpening focus
bringing you closer
than you've ever been
and if I shiver
I've felt your touch
maybe just a brush
across the shoulder
more than enough
for an unforced smile

It was a beautiful day today
So i took a wallk
in the woods i spent my childhood
And much of my twenties exploring

I gave up on the woods ten years ago
When i gave up hunting
Today i went hunting for memories
With a pen and paper
...
I cannot say that my hearing
And eyesight are better today
I can say that i heard and saw more
Such as the purple flowers in the undergrowth

Years ago i would have returned
With grand tales
Today i returned
With a short story

Today i was tired and breathless
From the hike up the hill
Sweating profusely
And coughing forcefully

II could however blame that
On a chest cold
Rather than my sixteen year
Pack a day habit

The trail is not exactly the same
But much is the same
And it does still go by
Many fond memories

The deerstand from which
I shot my first deer with a bow & arrow
23 years ago still stands
However the ladder has curiously moved

Again there was a deer
Under the same stand
And i could not imagine
Ever shooting the deer today

Today the trail takes a more gentle
Climb to the top where i went
Looking for the tree under which
I made love to my high school sweetheart

At first i thought it was gone
But then i found it
Right where we left it
The tree that has not changed

I remembered Laying out a blanket
But soon realized that was not the truth
She was not a sweetheart
And we were not making love

As with much of my youth
i was guided by lust
Rather than by love
Or respect for anything

I would have done almost anything
To get rid of that memory
Fifteen years ago
while today i cherish it

My foul mouth has not changed
Proven when i said "*******"
after nearly stepping on a turkey
Startling me as much as the bird

I stopped to check out the shale pit
I used to spend hours there
Scouring for fossil remains
Of plants and animals

I never found anything
But that didn't stop me from looking
Today i picked up one lump of shale
Looked it over and laughed

A pair of squirrels did not think
It was so funny
****** scurrying up a tree
And barking at me in unison

I guss the biggest impression i got
Was how much the woods
Has not changed
While much of me has

All the changes
may not be for better
But not all
For worse either

I shouldn't have given up on the woods
and i have been given several chances
So i am going to give the woods
Another chance as well

Drink up
Says the angel
Up or down
In or out
Good or bad
Choose a side
Dispose of the other
There is so much beauty
Beyond the waiting
Hold on to that railing
Feel the vibration
Thirteen steps
Jump up
As you reach the floor
Wait some more
It's alright
Everything is ahead
You are not alone
Down down down
Banking left then right
Down down down
Now banking left
Ii is my coat
It is warm
It  smells golden
Inviting
The warm sounds of horns
Distant beating of drums
A greeting
Red and black rose petals
Layed out for your feet
Cups and bowls
Fill with everything
From tea to coffee
This is everything
There is a  list
She welcomes you
With wolves open spend
I would say anything
It would probably

Can I be satisfied
There is much more
something better
Beyond the downed  
Water where goivca
That spots the flower
You should
Many are turned awaye
Sometiimes i felt sorry
You will get over it
This is where you belong
This is destiny
The avenue
Once and intoxicated
In a
And went
Chad in first year
Away someomtimes
Everyone is sitting there
Waiting for caddy shack
Wanting to go to jail
Drinking tea and coffee

We will wake up
Pillow fighting
Soon enough
Hanging on the bedpost
Is the ghost
Of the one you love most
Our days will innertwine
With red wine
And fine china
Porcelain dolls of the past
And battered masts
Take time to sail
And fade over the horizon
Someday maybe
A new beginning
Fresh tracks
Oprn water
Tailwind

hey hey little bird
what do you know
is there anything in the news
is it all picture perfect
is there sometheing in the garden
that catches your eye

hey hey little bird
how is your day
are you over all life's ills
heard any good stories
do tell, do tell
I need to know
all that ails you
all that urges you on
all that gets your goat

hey hey little bird
where did you go
what have you been up to
is everything coming up roses
is tomorrow another day
do tell me
where have your been
what do you do all day

hey hey little bird
what do you know

Eros

Eros was named after the Greek god
He was large, black, and hairy
He was a Newfoundland
and a new-found love
to everyone he met
He weighed 155 pounds,
half of which surely was heart
There was no creature that displayed more love
or more character than Eros
He loved most everything and everyone
But more than anything,
he loved a cat
He followed that cat everywhere
He would have done anything for that cat
But the cat showed no love in return
She would turn her cold nose up at the sight of Eros
She dreaded his clumsy stride
Always followed by a wet tongue
dripping drool and a heavy tail
But Eros loved her nonetheless
He followed his heart wherever it led him
And the world was a better place because of him
Eros' heart never failed anyone but himself
Because of a heart defect
he died at the age of eight
Seemingly everyone mourned the loss of Eros
Everyone but the cat
The cat went about her business
The same cold, finicky cat
that Eros loved unconditionally
It seemed that the cat felt no loss at all
Don't be fooled
Late at night, once in a while
The cat can be seen and heard
perched atop a window sill
Looking off into the darkness
In the distance,
a dog barks
and her ears focus
Listening for the clumsy footsteps
and swooshing tail
of a ******* dog
With a long wet tongue
and a big bad heart

I had just left the library
and was 20 minutes early for the bus
I decided to pull a Sobe
and a roast beef sandwich
out of my back pack
it was the first of May
but it was cold as hell
my fingers were numb
I would take a bite of the sandwich
take a drink of the Sobe
then set them down
and warm up my fingers
this guy came walking by
with a skinny little black dog
the dog looked like it was starving
and looked like it had been beaten
she came right up to me to say hello
I bit off a piece of the sandwich
and offered it to the dog
she gobbled it up happily
but the guy was ******
"you can't be feeding my dog" he said
I told him that somebody needed to feed the dog
because he obviously wasn't
"the dog should be taken away
and you should be jailed for neglect and abuse"
he got right up in my face
and started spitting obscenities
I got right back in his face
held out my chin and pointed to it
"go ahead, take it out on me
and leave the dog alone tonight"
he uttered a few more choice words
and backed off
he walked away jerking at the poor dog
as I watched him walk away
I noticed a sign posted on a pole
I had to walk into the steet to see it
It said, MISSING DOG
and there in the photo
was I think the same dog I had just met
it said her name was Bella
and she was a Chow Chow
she was probably 20 pounds heavier
and looked happier in the photo
she had been missing since March 22nd
it also said she was sick and needed medication
I didn't know what to think
was it the same dog?
was the man she was with neglecting her?
or was it the previous owners?
I decided to call the number and left a message
saying where i saw her
and what direction she was headed
and I left a description of the man
suddenly I didn't notice that my fingers were frozen
I don't know where Bella is tonight
but I hope she has a warm bed
a decent meal
her medication
and a loving companion

The sun's not setting yet
but it's thinking about it
and the squirrel is chattering
and the people are walking
up and down the street
the girls in their skimpy shorts
and the boys in their saggy shorts
the wind blows the pages of the book
and I shiver just a bit
until I soak up the sun
again at 6 PM

I don't know what it is
but I have grown very fond
of umbrellas
all shapes and sizes and colors
I never owned an umbrella
until a week ago
it was raining all day
and my mom gave
an umbrella
nothing fancy
just a black umbrella
then the rain let up
and I almost used
the umbrella
but I was worried
I wouldn't be able to dry it out
getting an umbrella wet
is a funny thing to worry about
but that's how I think
and that's not going to change
so when the sun comes back out
to dry the streets
only then
will I use
my first umbrella
for the first time
and it won't get wet

I met her in Cameron Park
I don't remember her name
but i call her Padma
(padma is the sacret lotus)
she was a little asian girl
about 9 years old
her mother was going
to the food co-op
and she let padma stay
with me in the park
we shared a sandwich
she probably shouldn't have
accepted food from strangers
but I guess by that point
we weren't strangers
we fed the pigeons and a squirrel
she told me she was going
to dance lessons later that day
she showed all the moves
in very french sounding names
she loved dancing
and she was great at it
we talked about God
funny thing to talk about
with a 9-year old
but whe was eager to tell me
about the Buddha
I told her I liked Buddha too
but that I didnt't
believe in God
she ******* believe
that I didn't belive in God
but she said that
some day I would see
"look at the sun" she said
"look at the tree"
"look at the pigeons"
"their feathers"
"is that not the work of God?"
I could not disagree
and I didn't have the heart
to say
"lool at that homeless guy"
"look at the front page of the paper"
"drugs"
"war"
"****"
"******"
I didn't have the heart to tarnish
her heart of gold

My favorite room is damp and dimly lit
Smells of mildew with cobwebs in corners
Puddles on floor, plaster falls from above
It is full of monsters
My favorite room is filled with maniacal laughter
It reeks of repressed anger and bottled rage
Yelps and screams bounce from wall to wall
It is full of monsters
My favorite room is a fortress
A tangle of bricks and mortar
The windows are boarded up
It is full of monsters
My favorite room is uncomfortable
Inviting only the uninvited
Pictures hang precariously
It is full of monsters
Sitting in my favorite room means wallowing in shame
being racked with guilt
it's a place I abuse myself
a place I'm familiar with
My favorite room is all mine
It is full of monsters
My favorite room will always be there
with a chair built for me
restraints if needed
My favorite room was made for me
and it is full of monsters

of all things to do on a rainy day
you dig a friends grave with bare hands
until hands are bloodied
and nails are splintered
not stopping
accepting the pain
tossing hand-fulls of dirt over shoulder
one by one
each a memory
gazing up at a purple sky
blinded by rain
never closing your eyes
continuing to claw away
tears replacing raindrops
you try to sing
but nothing comes out
and you bury the song
and you try to bury the memories
but you cannot dig deep enough
you try but you begin to tire
****** hands together over head
you begin to pray
to a god you don't believe in
but desperately search for
you begin to dig again
searching for release
you hear others crying
they are not down in a hole
with hands turned claws
there is no dirt under their nails
they are not bleeding
they brought umbrellas and flowers
and dressed in black
you dressed in white and brought no flowers
only blood and tears
this is the debt that must be paid
you want to pay it alone
this was supposed to be your day
your act of piety
you are selfish
you keep on digging
deeper
reaching stone
and then it's over
you can go no further
exhausted, bloodied, and soiled
you emerge from the grave
grabbing an umbrella
you smile
and walk away
red-handed

I fall apart
and they put me in a hospital
piece me togetherand
take my temp
they draw blood  
inquire about my bowel movements
draw more blood
do more tests
Some hot shot doctor comes
speaks in tongues
Something about metabolic acidosis
My kidneys are not functioning well
My liver is not in the best shape
An idiot could have told me that
The problem is not in my abdomen
The problem is in my head
In my brain
In my mind
do more tests I cannot pay for
tell me something else I already know
transfer me to the psych ward
give me my own room  
feed me more than I can eat
fatten me up
speak to me in low soft tones
I will startle
ask me questions for which
I have no answers
adjust my meds
try something new  
get the same result
refuse to give me the one drug
that I know works wonders
The one that calms me down
The one that shuts off all the noise
I don't want it anyway
Drugs cannot fix me
Doctors cannot fix me
Thanks for trying
I can fix me
If I want to

I finally did it today
Even though every bone of my body was screaming at me
Don't do it! Don't do it!
I did it anyway
It was just as bad as I imagined it would be
All the bad **** I thought would happen happened
I got all sweaty
I nearly ****** my pants
I couldn't speak
I choaked on my own spit
I fell apart
It was horrible
But it was incredibly easy
So easy to fall to pieces
So easy to cease to exist
So easy to break
I enjoyed it
Too much maybe
I'll probably do it all again tomorrow
I've been so lonely
It's all I can think about doing when I am alone
When it gets quiet
Nobody is watching me but myself
I fall apart
Loving it
Feeling a little less lonely for a bit
Almost ******* my pants
Sweating
Looking aroung and seeing nobody
Nobody but me
Talking to myself
Telling myself
Don't do it
Don't do it

I once shared a room for a week with Jesus
He smoked Marlboros and enjoyed beef jerky
People called him Zach
But he was Jesus to me
He heard voices and paced the rug all day
He was ******* the rug
He was ******* me
When we smoked he would pace
back and forth in the snow making a path,
telling me that he was jesus
and that I had an evil laugh
He once told a girl to stop farting in his pacing space
I thought that was the funniest thing I ever heard
There were times that Jesus made me nervous
He would get an evil look on his face
and then he would smile
and tell me the world was going to end
He talked alot about the world ending
and what needed to be saved
I was on top of that list
I told him I didn't need to be saved
and that I didn't believe in God
It hurt him to know I didn't believe in his father
He was an interesting character
He had a drug problem and was schizophrenic
I have a drug and alcohol problem and I'm crazy
Together, we could save the world
He was a conservative and I, a liberal
Our politics clashed
but we didn't clash
Jesus and i got along just fine
I would tell him he was a fool
for blaming the worlds ills on liberals
He would smile and tell me I was the devil
Together we would laugh
We disagreed on most everything
We disagreed with smiles
One day I left in an ambulance
Jesus paced in his usual spot in the day room
I could see him smiling
As if to say "I told you so"
As if to say "Everything will be okay"
After a few days I was released from the hospital
I often spent time wandering the streets
One day I met a man out for a stroll with a cigarette
It was Jesus
He looked so glad to see me
He said hello and called me Mike
I said Hi and called him Zach
We must have been using code names
His secret was not yet known
As I passed him we both turned around and smiled
We both knew things had changed
We knew we had to go our separate ways
We did, but halfway down the block I turned
to catch one more look at the son of God
I still think of Jesus on a regular basis
I should have had more time for him
But I have a feeling he's doing just fine
And I smile when I think about Jesus,
somewhere out there saving the world

Too Quiet

This house is too quiet
Too sad
Too cold
I walk across a dimly lit room
I can hear the floor creaking beneath my feet
I can hear birds singing songs outside
Nobody sings inside
Steady sullen silence
Nobody sings inside
This house is too quiet
Too sad
Too cold
Did I do something wrong?
Stupid question
Can you forgive me?
Better question
I ask you to sit down and listen
You can't wait to leave the room
Why won't you talk to me?
Are you afraid?
Have you heard it all before?
Did I do something wrong?
Can you forgive me?
This house is too quiet
Too sad
Too cold
I remember when we were best friends
We could talk about anything
We could talk about nothing
Nobody talks anymore
Steady sullen silence
Nobody sings inside
I am singing inside
I am smiling inside
I want you to sing
I want you to smile
This house is too quiet
Too sad
Too cold

I can never find anything to do anymore
I am ALWAYS bored
I drink another soda as fast as I can
Boring
I smoke another cigarette as fast as I can
Boring and bad for my health

I used to drink and do drugs
It caused a lot of problems but I had fun
At least then I had something to do
At least then I could make myself stupid
Do stupid things with an excuse
At least then I could be interested in menial things


The most interesting thing I did today was take a shower
I was actually kind of happy standing there under the water
But only an idiot would stand in the shower all day
I could take up *******
That might be fun
I could do that in the shower

I rarely smile anymore without faking it
I smile when I see a small child smile
But I don't have children around me that often
and when I do, they are not always smiling
Often they are screaming
Screaming children are not fun

Some people seem like they are happy all the time
How do they do it?
Is it because they are stupid?
I like to think so
I like to think that I am the norm
Nobody should be happy too often

I just want to be happy a little bit
Find a few things to do that don't bore me to death
I wanna be interested in life
I want to have a reason to go to bed early
I want to have a reason to wake up
I want to have a reason

Today I will just have to settle for being bored
For being uninterested
For being unhappy
But it would be nice not to have to dumb down to cheer up
I am sick of dumbing down
I am kind of sick of life

Maybe tomorrow I will remember a good reason to live
Maybe tomorrow I will find something new
Maybe tomorrow somebody will suprise me
Maybe not
But I do still have hope
That just maybe things will change

Too much of a good thing
They say it is possible
Why?
How?
If something is good then more of it should be better
No?
Why not?
Who made the rules?
Too much of a good thing confuses to me
I want more
Why can't I have it AND be happy?
Too little of a bad thing
That's a possibility
We wouldn't want that
But to little of a bad thing is good
I know
It's confusing
You've heard it before
Same story
No
Not this time
Something is different
Good things are in demand
You will appreciate it more
Supply AND demand
Bread tastes good when you are starving
This is not economics
This is life
It is here
It is now
It is
I am hungry
Give me more
Feed me
Make ME happy

Jealous Again

I put Black Flag, Jealous Again on the turntable
It spins and I spin
I hold my hands to my face like I have a mic
I feel like spitting as I pump my fist
MAYBE I AM JEALOUS
Jealous of the guy who has two kids
Jealous of the guy with a job
Jealous of the guy with a car
I put Black Flag, Jealous Again on the turntable
It spins and I spin
I make faces and show my teeth
My grill needs work
MAYBE I AM JEALOUS
Jealous of the guy who has nice teeth
Jealous of the guy with six pack abs
Jealous of the guy with a full head of hair
I shouldn't be jealous
I have me
My values
My family
My friends
I even have Black Flag, Jealous Again on vinyl
I have everything I need
I shouldn't be jealous

It will be a horrible day
when the music stops sounding good
I will cry when birds stop singing
When the cats stop purring
I will feel cold
It will be a horrible day
when the music stops sounding good
It will be a horrible day
when feedback hurts my ears
I will cry when children don't play
When slippers cease to warm feet
I will feel cold.
It will be a horrible day
when music stops sounding good
It will be a horrible day
when rivers run dry
I will cry when flowers lose scent
when mothers stop loving
I will feel cold
It will be a horrible day
when the music stops sounding good
It will be a horrible day
When the sun blinds my eyes
I will cry when children stop smiling
When slippers cease to warm feet
I will feel cold
It will be a horrible day
When the music stops sounding good