Quiet Nights
*
This I am, sitting by the
Moving train.
Here I am, next to aged
Metal tracks, listening to
The cuckoo of the flying
Train, the train that leaves
Behind grey smoke trails like
The rabbit leaves behind its trails
In the woodened forests.

It is suddenly a grey dark morning day
In midwinter, but now it is
A warm dark night leveeing the
Tracks with vibrating gravel
As the train flies in front of the
Eyes and I listen quietly to the choo-choo’s,
Tucked inside my bed sheets
Half a kilometer away.

Big round opened eyes gleam
Brightly in that absolute darkness,
Until the train lights **** it in.
And suddenly they are dark, and
The room is lighted through the
Large window and its transparent
Plastic curtain.
There I am, half a kilometer
Away, sitting by the immobile gravel
Looking at the rear metals
Of a moving train that leaves
Behind large puffs of intoxicating
Smoke that disintegrates into
Large clouds of fog fallen onto the
Mobile homes.

In this world
Full of mundane and extraordinary things
There are so much to see
But so little time

I keep wasting my time
Thinking and planning about what I should do
Instead of just doing it
Instead of actually living

Somewhere in a sea of confusion
And things I have to do
I forgot to be alive
And ended up unhappy

And I know, I know
You tried so hard
To make me feel alive
To remind me to live

And there were so many voices
Telling me where to go
And I forgot to listen to yours
I ended up shutting you out

And I didn't want to, I didn't want to
I wanted so much to show you
That I love you too
And I couldn't, I couldn't

My coffee is warm
So I'll burn my tongue

Mother warned me
But I'm 18

So tired I am
Of staying up all night

I think about what a grown-up I am
Driving my car and drinking beers

Telling Mom to let me go
Telling him never to do so

But this morning I burned my tongue
And I started to cry

Nobody warned me
I'm still 18

I'm tired
Of being awake all night

I think about how big my bed has gotten
How to pay my bills and raise a child

My Mom told me never to call
And he rarely does anymore

I didn't do my homework
But you can say
That I tried
Tomorrow they will notice
My latest rebellious behavior

It annoys me a lot
Because no one ever asks why
Why did our straight A girl didn't succeed
Not this time?

I wish they would ask
Then they would see
That I am no rebellion

I'm actually just being me.

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