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Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2015
You, God, are holy
My foes are lowly
Your arms they comfort
And stay with me

My heart is heavy
My face downcast and
My emotions get
Away from me

But praise to you who made the stars
They will shine out your name
This battle is not ours
And you love me still the same
So praise your name

You, Christ, are lofty
Though my heart pains me
I trust in you, ***
You loved me first

Heartbeats-they weaken
The sun will sink and
The dark will set in
But you remain

But praise to you who made the stars
They will shine out your name
This battle is not ours
And you love me still the same
So praise your name
We praise your name

You lift me up above
And down below
To show your love
So we can know

Your garments torn up
You drank from hell's cup
To lift us all up
To show us love

But praise to you who made the stars
They will shine out your name
This battle is not ours
And you love me still the same
So praise your name
Another song I wrote. The last few days, I've been trying so hard to rely on God. He is holy. He is holy. He is holy.
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2015
I don't know what I believe
Just that my heart screams out "no more"

Am I the villain here today
Or victim with my tears unsure

Though I don't know where I play part
I have been weeping from the start

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me

Please help me now, I feel I drown,
I'm lost within the sea
Another fight.
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2015
It all just keeps getting
Worse
And
Worse
Because the people who said
They'd never leave me
Think I'm weird for being so sad.

I poison all the happy people with
My sadness
I'm sorry if my depression is upsetting to you, but it's scary as hell to me, so please help me or leave me alone.
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2015
I'm sorry I'm not as pretty as her
I'm sorry I'm not as funny as her
I'm sorry I'm not as "cool" as her
I'm sorry I don't laugh as nice as her
Trust me. I live with her every day.
I know how perfect she is.

But I'm a human, too.
I still feel things as deeply
If not deeper
Than she does
Dear everyone...
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2015
I can't breathe

I can't sleep

I can't feel

I am numb
"You did that to another woman."
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2015
Life is sad
Life is depressing
Life is slow
Life is angry
Life is rough
Life is...too much.

So breathe deep
Sing loudly
Dance any way you want
Have long emotional conversations
Listen to music
Take long showers
And never
Ever
Feel unloved.
I wish I had someone to tell me this every time life began to get to me. So here's to all of you: boys, girls, mom's, dads, and everyone else who's ever felt miserable. I love you all, and I hope you have a miraculous day.
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2015
In 2 days
I will either
Lose you forever
Or see you
Every week.
Please
Please
Please
Another foster child I've grown attached to. His hearing is on Wednesday. We find out if his parents'rights are terminated. I feel so awful for hoping they are.
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