If you wanted me so badly, why am I making all the effort now?
You never text first and when we do text it's as if we've never spoken before.
I'm excited to meet you, excited to feel your lips on mine.
But part of me thinks I blew it, just like I've blown everything in my life.
Everyone leaves, everyone walks away.
I thought you'd be the first to stay.
I know I think too much, I know I text too much.
It's a fear of losing you.
A fear I've known too well.
I just wish you'd respond and give me a way to tell.

Don't tell me that it's normal to cry yourself to sleep.
Don't tell me that it's normal to want to cut your skin deep.
Don't tell me that it's normal to feel unwanted.
Don't tell me it's my age,
Don't tell me it's my "teenage rage",
Don't tell me I'm dramatic,
Don't tell me I'm problematic.
If you were in my shoes,
You'd want to hate me too.

If you knew it wasn't me all along,
Why did you drag me by your side?
Why did you take me for granted?
Was it your intention to make me cry?
Because here I am,
Still wondering why,
What I ever did to you.
All I did was love you,
All I did was care.
I guess I cared too much,
Because now you're nowhere.
You'll forever be ingrained in my mind,
Footprints on my heart.
You've left your mark on me,
Changed who I am,
But now you're not here to see.
You don't get to see the new me,
The me that you helped form.
I learned from you,
And you sure as hell taught me a lot.
You taught me how to love,
Not just others but myself.
I'm not quite sure why you're still the topic of my writing,
For it's been over a year.
But not a day goes by where I don't think about you.
I miss you,
I miss us,
Whatever it may have been,
You can't tell me you didn't feel it too.

They cut down trees to build major cities,
to pave new roads.
What happens to the people?
They cut down trees in our hearts,
pave roads for themselves.
They build cities with their names in lights.
But what happens when they leave?
The cities become abandoned,
the lights begin to flicker.
They've permanently built a city in your heart,
making your blood pump thicker.
People come and go,
but the ones you truly remember,
are those whose lights still flicker,
even after they've been gone forever.

Sometimes I wonder if you ever think back.
Do you think back to all the times that we have had?
Do you think about the good, the bad?
Because I think about it all,
and it makes me mad.
I hate that you stopped calling,
I hate that you don't care.
I wish you were out of my mind,
but instead you're everywhere.
You've managed to ingrave your name in my heart,
and you manage to still make me cry.
I simply can't forget you,
and I don't quite know why.