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don’t believe in
divine intervention,
but all~so(uls)
don’t believe in the
accidents of coincidence

the Pandora Box gods eavesdrop on my mind,
looking to match the music to my mood,
(box to box, they cruelly smile)
Providentially Provisioning
me with inspirational food.
to collect and let
what’s brewing,
stop stewing,
and come out
in a you know what…

that old song,
500 Miles,
keeps
returning, unplanned,
auto play repeatedly
entirely accidentally,
(U believe that?)
my mind keeps on
knowing
I’m up~blowing,
there’s unfinished business
a-firing, a forest fire
of a 500 miles~s-acred blaze,
the firemen intuit ‘tis
of a kind,
it can’t be stoppered
until you and it,
self extinguish, (ex~sting-you~ish (1))
burn itself,
outside inwards,
reverse phoenix,
not sparks left,
until it’s dead

and the song,
and it’s power o’er me,
** ** **, is un~finished
busine business,
having fun with
my undoing

Lord, I’m Two,
both of us,
in words unspoken,
know that the/a fragmentation
grenade that is my brain,
dancing on the thinner
blackest
red line that asunders me,
twice, into two unequal halves,
is inflamed, infected, dejected

Both of us,
hear that dog whistle
loud blowing
one inch, a salty pinch,
or even
500 hundred miles,
makes no difference,
cause Lord, I’m two

reminding how far I am
from my owning
my very own
personal homeland security,
complete with self-sourced,
sovereign jagged glass pieces,
intended to jag, jog, tear, penetrate, break, annoy, till~this line……ends
,
the errata of this man’s
quasi, semi, repeating
mess-ups, that are
erratically invoking
benedictional confessionals,
of poems unwrit

those I dare not,
until and unlest,
you board a plane
to come to save me

Lord, I’m Disordered,
Lord, I’m Three,
a trinity of Myself & I & Me,
siblings who just
can’t along,
but can’t barely survive,
as separate human beings,
for one cord connects us,
keeps attached like on a bus,
though at a modest
moderating distance,
cause the fights are
frequent

Lord, I’m
(yeah yeah Four, say no more,
just rap it up son,
there’s work to be done!)


am I finished being,
an unfinished being,
will I ever make it to Five,
get home, even barely alive,
Lord, will I ever be One,
just like you,
put together,
a jigsaw complete,
a whiskey neat,
a whiskered gnat,
a graybeard bit
of fluff
with a wide smile of a
Cheshire Cat?

Lord,
give me sleep,
& poems born written
pre~complete,
so alls that required is to just hit
SEND,
a journey shelved,
ended before began,
a pieced together whole man,
give me rest,
eternal and blest,
make me an archaic kept,
in an archive slept,
and end this song,
with a fini
of
quietude & peace?


4:35AM
Sabbath Eve
- Av 12, 5784
- Aug. 16, 2024
predecessor:  https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4861638/lord-im-one/

(1) the proper pronunciation and,
ish is “man” in another tongue
(2) would I be less abnormal if I only wrote during daylight ?
In your city
I called you home,
a place where I decided to stay longer.
In your city
I was in love.
Indonesia, 5th October 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
 Sep 2021 Maria Etre
ks
Not In love
 Sep 2021 Maria Etre
ks
i'm not in love.
not in love with the way
your eyes follow
my every move.
not in love with the way
you run your fingertips
across my skin,
memorizing every detail.
not in love with the way
you make me smile.
not in love with the way
you make the overwhelming
noise of life quiet,
even if it's just for a moment.
i'm not in love,
but so what if i was?
 May 2020 Maria Etre
Kellin
Now that
                  I
                     Know
                                You
Exist
How
Do
I not
         Love
                    You
 Apr 2020 Maria Etre
mk
the dullness
 Apr 2020 Maria Etre
mk
i write
but not really

i'm a poet
but not really

somewhere between broken hearts
and putting them back together
i forgot how to pick up the pen

i was so busy piecing myself back together that
i forgot how to put pieces of a sentence together

it doesn't hurt to write and
i want to scream but
there is a calm dull throbbing silence

i write
but not really

i'm a poet
but not really

i think you have to bleed to write
i stopped bleeding when i ran out of blood
i think you have to cry to write
i stopped crying when i ran out of tears

sometimes i wish i was broken again
because this silence isn't much better and
screaming felt good and
not having the words feels worse.

you have to be in touch with your emotions to write poetry
i am not in touch with my emotions

i write
but not really

i'm a poet
but not really
half human; whole silence
 Dec 2019 Maria Etre
Chelsea
Someone asked me to draw
Draw what heartbreak looks like
I finally got tired of drawing a broken heart
And I started drawing you
 Dec 2019 Maria Etre
Kafka Joint
Don't look into the eyes of the monster,
You won't like your reflection in them.
 Jul 2019 Maria Etre
Steve Page
The kinetic energy
contained in this resting pencil
will soon be let out
in accelerated shouts and whispers
and the odd word of wisdom.
Just wait.
You'll see.
Pencils. #noerasers.  Thanks for the idea
https://hellopoetry.com/maria-etre/ .
 May 2019 Maria Etre
Donna
Holding hands , smiling
together , laughing sharing
Love is wonderful
This one is for my husband Dean who forever supports me and is always trying to help and care for me especially when my aniexty kicks in , loving him is the best medicine I ever going to need xxxxx ❤️
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