my head a pool of whiskey
my thoughts, they start to dim
in the swirling mixture
i see the face of him

the warmth will tickle down my throat
the roughness smooth my skin
my lips will crave one sip more
i love the taste of him

like buying new shoes
finding what clinical issue
fits right
to describe what i am feeling
when i cry every night

in the street
the pavement is wet
sloping hill, up to your house
brown, dying leaves
surrounding our warm bodies
car pulls up
we don't even notice

we lay

on the stained carpet
in the basement
apart from anything else
lights are off
playlist, ours
heads pressed together
one in the morning
you tell me who you were
and who you are
i follow suit, blindly
i trust you
with everything

we lay

on your bed
there's no bed frame
just a mattress and some pillows
my head is spinning
i felt like i was dreaming
afraid i would wake
and you'd be gone
our music still on

we lay

the candle flickering
on the shelf
makes invisible winds
invisible smells
which i breathe in
and then breathe out
all while thinking
about myself
and the sorrows that i bring

my humanity is slipping
as i become my numbers
give me one more like

heartbreak always is the theme,
lots of pain, a poet's dream
the lies and tears, they rip my seam
my guts are spilling out

why is my poetry ****

I crave bad things
smoke and heartbreak
cuts along my thighs
romanticized pain
because that's what they don't want
what they don't want
is what I am

just kids
getting high when your parents aren't home
hoping no one hears us
or sees us climb into the hot tub
half naked
on a cold night
with a blunt in one hand
and my hand in the other