He was just an arrangement of 1s and 0s
which manifested itself into a body
on the other side of the planet

There were a three times
that he was right beside me
despite him not being there at all

First, he sat on the side of my bed
struck by a drunken haze
when he told me he loved me

Second, he came out of my closet
to keep me from crying
when I thought I lost him

And third, appeared right beside me
when I was walking back home
while the sun was wiping my tears.

I touched him on his shoulder
then he whispered
"I don't know who you are
We have never known each other."

A year ago  -  today

You told me we should never have got married.....

That you didn't love me

Anymore


My heart        


     F        R                  T             R               D
                     A       C         U                E


Into a thousand tiny pieces      
Which lodged themselves in my mouth
Rendering me unable speak
My dumbfounded mind
Raced to catch up to the words you uttered with such carelessness


One year on

Like petals looping through the winds of time
Waving at the door of Hades
Pursuing the light of redemption down a snaking tunnel
My heart has returned to its rightful place
Still bruised
But whole again
I am happy in my oneness
Not lonely    
                    Just
Alone
                       ­       Being
                                                  Me

Meanwhile.­.......

You're in a 'relationship' with someone who is still married......

But not to you

Happy Valentine's Day!

(C) Pixievic 2016

I felt safe with you
It could have been so simple
I have some regrets

It had been a while
And our friends encouraged us
then we never spoke

in the tub I thought
of drowning but came to you
to ****‘n’ forget

I loved who you were
Past tense but also present
Like, genuinely

Sorry I felt zilch,
You met me at a bad time
And in a bad place

"And if he's gone away," said she,
"Good riddance, if you're asking me.
I'm not a one to lie awake
And weep for anybody's sake.
There's better lads than him about!
I'll wear my buckled slippers out
A-dancing till the break of day.
I'm better off with him away!
And if he never come," said she,
"Now what on earth is that to me?
I wouldn't have him back!"
  I hope
Her mother washed her mouth with soap.

Aw girl, did you dance with the devil
Get ripped apart
Where’s your heart
Ah, I see it beating in the gutter
Well girl, what can I say
Life's a *****, and then you die
But you don’t want to hear that
No,no, not in your beautiful world
Not in pin up poster world
Aw girl
You want to go down to the love hospital
They’ll put you back together
But guess what
That beating heart
In the gutter
Maybe wants to last past puberty
So hey, I’ve been round the block
I’ll give you ten seconds of my time
Best ten seconds of advice you’ll ever hear
That rose growing in the garden there
Is that not the most beautiful thing in the world
Now, not only is that rose beautiful
It’s also very smart
It knows some ******* is going to try and take liberties
So it surrounds itself with thorns.
Do the same
Be that rose.

Did you ever hear the tale of the loneliest cigarette?
Bringing short term pleasure to just one man, while simultaneously burning herself away into oblivion, she is selfless.
He'll soon kick her to the kerb and stamp out her embers which she offered to him because it's what she thought he wanted.
When she is gone, he will take another.
*And she will be useless. Lifeless. Unwanted. Replaceable.