Out Of The Smoke Comes You.
Not Covered In Lies, But Truth.
Not Afraid To Be Real.
No Matter How You Feel.
Then Life Becomes Too Hard,
And You Think: "Where To Start?!"
So You Realize, Life *****
And There's No Such Thing As Luck.

My Heart Picks Up
Every time I See Him.
All I Have To Do
Is See If He Likes Me.
I'm So Nervous,
But I'm Excited.

How can anyone live with this pain?
I feel like I've lost everything
And gained,
Nothing
In return.

A theif in the night
Came and took all of it from me.
Leaving me with this
Deep pain in my chest.
Its only been there for a minute
But I can tell
It doesn't plan on leaving.

How can I live with this?!!

I feel like someone's
Ripped my heart out, and
Stabbed me in my chest.
17 times.
And afterwards they told me
"Happy Birthday."

They took everything I ever had.
They pushed me down the stairs,
And kicked me when I was down.
They didn't care about the mess
They left behind
Just as long as it
Resembled a tornado hit.

They knew what I wanted,
Yet they tore my dreams into tiny pieces.
They took my ability to bounce back.
And threw it into the deep sea.
How can I put my life back together,
Start over again,
When I don't even know if I want to breathe?

Please,
Tell Me.

How Do I Move On?
How Do I Start Over?
I'm Afraid of Failing,
Of Losing Everything
Which Is Irrelevant,
Since I Already Did.

The Pain I Feel,
Leaves Me Speechless.
I Thought I Knew Hurt
But What I Thought I Felt,
Doesn't Even Compare
To What I Feel Now.
I Feel Like Someone
Has Emptied Me Out Of
Everything.
To Ever Have Thought That She Cared,
That She Didn't Actually Hate Me
Was Ignorant,
And Completely Foolish
Of Me.

Part Of Me Feels Like
I Deserve This.
And I Don't Know...

Maybe I Do.

*All I Know Is That I'm Tired.
I'm Tired Of The Pain.

When you feel like
Talking let me know.
Would I sound cliché
If I Said
"I'll be here if
You need me?"

Let me tell you this:
I've been through what
You're going through.
It's not easy,
But you will get through it.
Sometimes it feels like
It's better to not
Hope
Then to hope,
Because you don't want
To get hurt.

Well, that's wrong.

But here's my advice:
*Some Things Are Worth The Risk.

I Hate
When Your Best Friend Is Hurting
And There Is
NOTHING
You Can Do About It.
I Am
Completely
Helpless.

A Deer In Headlights,
And A Fish Out of Water.

A friend in class,
Showed me a message her boyfriend
Sent her:

*"I say you're not you
When you wear makeup
Because you spend
So much time
Making yourself
Look like a rose,
When I fell in love
With your roots"

Our
Generation,
Is The
Light Of
*The World.

Imagine a pitch black room.
You're surrounded by darkness,
And it's seeping under your skin.
Whispering false truths in your ears,
Making your fears come alive.
Feeding your insecurities,
And knocking you down
Every time you dare to stand up.

The things it says,
Breaks you.
And leaves you whimpering in a corner.
Tears running down your face, and
Afraid to face the world.
Wondering
"Why am I this way?!!"

Every time you start to feel proud,
That voice starts up again.
"You're ugly!"
"It's your fault! All of it!"
"You're fat!"
"You're disgusting!"
"You make me sick!"
"How can you live with yourself?!!"
And before you realize it,
You're believing and
Sinking.

Dear Friend,
You are not alone.
As cliché as it sounds,
There is light after the storm.
I'm not going to lie and say
"It gets easier."
Because it won't,
Unless you want it to.
And even then,
Its not as easy as it seems.

Just know this:
I am not here to whisper
Pretty lies into your ears.
And I am not going to stand here, and
Watch you sink.
I am here for you.
To be that hand that pulls
You out of your sea of pity.
I am here to remind,
That you are perfect
Just the way you are.
And most importantly,
I am here to tell you to fight.
Fight the Self-Pity.
Fight the Negativity.
Fight the Darkness.
Okay?
Just Fight,
And you'll make it.

**I Promise.

Truth.

It is easy
To say the
Truth
When you are alone.
But saying the
Truth
To your friends or family
Is as hard as over-baked cookies.

The
Truth
About myself, wants
To be free!
It wants someone to know.
The words want
To burst from my lips,
Like water breaking from a dam.
I'm so nervous. I won't let it.
Not because I'm afraid
They wouldn't understand.
They will. I know they will.
But saying the
Truth*
Would make it
True.

And I don't know,
If I'm ready for that.

If I died,
Would you notice?
Would you even care?
Or would it be like I'm still there
Locked up in my prison,
Doing you slave work?
Not having a life,
Not having a soul.

If I died,
Would I be swallowed up in shadows?
Never to see the light of day again?
Would the darkness
Consume me alive,
Trapping me in its
Tendrils of death and hopelessness?
Until all I am is less than
A figure of your imagination?

If I died,
Would Heaven pull me up,
Or would Hell yank me down?
Would I be happy in the clouds,
Or tormented in the lake of fire?
Would I feel sweet relief
From a life filled with pain and hate?
Or would I regret
Having left the world to soon?

If I died,
Would anyone miss me?
Would they realize I'm gone?
Or would it be like a song forgotten?
Would I occasionally cross your mind,
Like lyrics?
Would you have trouble remembering me,
Like a name of a song?

If I died,
What would I become?

I have a secret.
A Secret that is me.
Something my "Mother"
Wouldn't approve of.
She'd say:
"You're a disgrace!"
"You make me sick!
And all I'll know is:
"I deserve this."

They say they "understand".
But, what is that?
They say they "know me".
But, who am I?
They say they "want to help me".
But, how could they?
How can they help me,
when I can't even help myself?