How can anyone live with this pain?
I feel like I've lost everything
And gained,
Nothing
In return.

A theif in the night
Came and took all of it from me.
Leaving me with this
Deep pain in my chest.
Its only been there for a minute
But I can tell
It doesn't plan on leaving.

How can I live with this?!!

I feel like someone's
Ripped my heart out, and
Stabbed me in my chest.
17 times.
And afterwards they told me
"Happy Birthday."

They took everything I ever had.
They pushed me down the stairs,
And kicked me when I was down.
They didn't care about the mess
They left behind
Just as long as it
Resembled a tornado hit.

They knew what I wanted,
Yet they tore my dreams into tiny pieces.
They took my ability to bounce back.
And threw it into the deep sea.
How can I put my life back together,
Start over again,
When I don't even know if I want to breathe?

I'm getting awfully tired
of being alone.

It's getting colder
and
I'm lonely
and I'm really
really
tired.

I'm tired of
being anxious
about everything

overthinking

being left out.

I guess I'm just too young
to know myself
and I'm tired
of that
too.

I'm also tired
of getting told
that although I'm special
I'm not quite
special
enough...

but I guess that's my fault.

I'm just so tired.

Sorry.

I'll put this plainly: I like a girl
Quite a lot, actually
But all my thoughts are all over the place
They all clamour for attention, their beliefs attacking me

"Go for it," says my heart
"What have you to lose?"
"What ****** drugs are you on?" says a part of me
"Would you date yourself if you were in her shoes?"

Nightmare just shrugs his shoulders
"Why would you ask me?"
After all, I am virtually emotionless
I did ****** your family."

Permafrost dictates otherwise
"Follow your heart, because it is always true
Don't let anyone else
Tell you what you can and can't do."

Verdugo believes in chance
"Take the risk, if you dare
Take the risk if you believe
That she knows just how much you truly care."

"But do not get too cocky
You have your limitations"
I believe Verdugo has the best advice
For my current situation.

At least, the most positive advice
I kinda believe the unnamed part of me
But I also have faith in my heart and Permafrost
So my emotional division dictates an unclear destiny

Please,
Tell Me.

How Do I Move On?
How Do I Start Over?
I'm Afraid of Failing,
Of Losing Everything
Which Is Irrelevant,
Since I Already Did.

The Pain I Feel,
Leaves Me Speechless.
I Thought I Knew Hurt
But What I Thought I Felt,
Doesn't Even Compare
To What I Feel Now.
I Feel Like Someone
Has Emptied Me Out Of
Everything.
To Ever Have Thought That She Cared,
That She Didn't Actually Hate Me
Was Ignorant,
And Completely Foolish
Of Me.

Part Of Me Feels Like
I Deserve This.
And I Don't Know...

Maybe I Do.

*All I Know Is That I'm Tired.
I'm Tired Of The Pain.

Let's do this
We should do that
look I just want to read
I wanna do that
Do this with me
Selfish I feel indeed
What are you doing
something...
Nothing I see,
Then come and do this with me
Am I bad for wanting peace
I can't have it I see
Your bad at what you do
Why do you try
I wanna do this instead
You sell me short
It hurts so much
Should I tell you......
How could you
Your negative thoughts
They depress me
I'm not allowed to feel
Your bad at every thing
....
God don't even try
I'm prettier
......
Fitter
Don't you dare complain to me
.........
Of course, I'm sorry for bringing it up
You should be
*....lets