Oh,* the mind goes.
Does she mean me?
I assure you, that I don't.
I mean the little voice inside
Your head that said this
Applied to you.
You are brilliant;
**** that little voice,
The not-you
That says you're anything less
Than radiant.

No matter how bright,
Now matter how fragrent,
Everything fades
And smells like rot.
The smell of old books,
The colour of old life.

When the world is so cold,
And the air is muffled by the sound of nothing growing,
Let me feel your breath on the crown of my head,
And the smile on my lips,
And the small circles you depict in the small of my back
That so quietly whisper "I love you."

The never ending inferno of chaos
And heat.
That we need to survive and thrive.
There are fires within us, combustion
And flames
To fill the hollow, to bring us warmth.

It finds us all in the end, doesn't it?

Be in my bubble,
Let's listen to lousy music
And kiss

When do you believe life begins?

The travesty is, beautiful boy,
That the silhouette you cast when
You're above me
Shines brighter than the
Stars behind you.

Rationally, I know everything's fine
Rationally, I know it won't happen again
Rationally, the memories should make it easier for me to handle now,
Rationally, I should feel better.

Irrationally, I find myself screaming
Irrationally, I find myself crying
Irrationally, I feel worse now than I did when the world was falling in,
Irrationally*, I feel alone.

I let it play for the first time in months,
My mind shut down and heart
Squeezed with sadness.
Because we promised each other
So much
And this was your favourite song.

"A window to the soul", you say.
So you, my friend can see in.
But they are our window,
With which we see outwards
And we show our emotions.
Happy tears, sad tears, angry tears.
Or no tears, and no emotion.

You don't see me through my eyes,
I show you.

When I am falling down,
You will pick me up,
As we rise again, we miss the floor,
We rise above it all.
You came for me,
Healed my heart with kind words
And taught me how to fly.
I love you.

I hate movies,
Anyone who cares knows that.
Sitting in a room with all the people you love
And ignoring them.
But with you,
In this moment,
I want to build a fort with pillows and fairy lights.
I want to watch movies which came from comics,
And see you laugh, and cry, and hurt for people
Who done exist.
I want to feel you nose my neck in the quiet scenes,
And kiss me in the credits.

Loving me is inefficient.
Listening to me is inefficient.
Is there anything about me that's worth your time?

I'm not asking you to understand why I don't want you to use this word to describe me. I'm asking you to refrain from doing so because it makes me feel like I'm getting in the car to go and find her again. Its reminding me of when I found her standing waist deep in a river crying because Michael said he wanted to die. Or when I helped her break up with her boyfriend because every time she'd tried to before, he'd grabbed a razor. Or crying in France because I needed her to take care of me for once. Or when he jumped on his computer because we borrowed it. Or when her parents shouted at each other. Or when she ran away.

I give up.

Talking like we used to do
It was always me and you
Shaping up and shipping out
Check me in and check me out

Do you like walking in the rain?
When you think of love, do you think of pain?
You can tell me what you see
I will choose what I believe

Hold on, darling
This body is yours,
This body is yours and mine
Well hold on, my darling
This mess was yours,
Now your mess is mine

Your mess is mine

See you in the marketplace
Walking 'round at 8am
Got 2 hours before my flight
Luck be on my side tonight

You're the reason that I feel so strong
The reason that I'm hanging on
You know you gave me all the time
Or did I give enough of mine?

Hold on, darling
This body is yours,
This body is yours and mine
Well hold on, my darling
This mess was yours,
Now your mess is mine
Oh
Now your mess is mine
Oh
Your mess is mine

Bring me to your house
And tell me "sorry for the mess"
Hey, I don't mind
You're talking in your sleep
All the time
Well, you still make sense to me
Your mess is mine

Your mess is mine
This body's yours and this body's mine
Your mess is mine

I had a dream once, my darling. About you and I, adrift in the sky.
For hours we'd dance and dance, your eyes glowing and growing, dancing, enhancing,
With each spin, each laugh as the hours turned to days turned to a lifetime.
We would stop our waltz only to kiss; long and lasting and promising.
A kiss that would power our airship, would end all wars, would cease my tears.
A kiss that would cure my fears.

noose**
The necklace is pretty
These bindings about my neck
As strong as the ties of the family
Who keep me in line

My body shall decay
and worms will live in my eyes,
maggots in my nails,
and maybe a dog will eat my face.
But eventually, what I used to be
will become new;
my blood and bone
will be re-rooted into something:
a tree or a flower or a ****.
Me, in my little wooden box,
living my new life.
But not yet,
because this one
is awesome.

I can smell the table,
Unlabled chemicals and acrid smoke
Radiate off it as though it was still on fire

I can hear the violin,
Unbearably beautiful and haunting
Echoing around at three in the morning

I can hear the voice,
Hollowed out and crackling
While you phone and tell me you're a fraud

I can see the body,
Broken up and bleeding
Because the world just seemed too hard

I can touch the gravestone,
Freshly polished and gleaming
As I ask for one more miracle, Sherlock.