I've wanted so many things in life,

None of them as badly as I want you.

i don't know what is happening to me
i feel like i'm slowly losing grasp on reality

i feel like i'm losing myself?
& i feel like i'm not going to make it through


i feel like i'm losing my mind
& i wish i had some sort of explanation for it


and honestly,
i'm *terrified

this one is
for the one's who stay up all night counting scars
instead of stars
for the one's who rely on the blades to keep breathing
for the one's who feel numb to the pain
for the one's who feel the need to end everything,
but can't find the courage to
for the one's who no longer know what it's like to smile
for the one's who are too afraid to get help
for the one's who are depressed, but constantly shut out
for the one's who are truly broken, but are labelled attention seekers
for the one's who no longer see a purpose in life
for the one's who view each day as a struggle
for the one's who built a caves inside their hearts
for the one's who feel tears choking their insides
for the one's who no longer are able to count the number of slashes on their wrists
for the one's who look in the mirror and see a monster reflecting back
for the one's who grew demons in their hearts instead of flowers
for the one's who refuse to be happy because it's going to be taken away
for the one's who lost someone who meant the world to them, and don't know what to do to get over it
for the one's who can't let go
for the one's who are stuck in the past
for the one's who are in love
for the one's who are happy
for the one's who are contented
for the one's who finally accept themselves



this,
is for


*everyone

That night changed my life
Forever, I presume
Because today, now
I can't even think of what it'll be like
If I were to wake up tomorrow
And deal with the absence of you


Within the short period of time of getting to know you,
The mini arguments
The constant " I'm sorry "
The usual " I don't know what I'd do without you "
The sarcastic and witty comments
The " I'm only mean to you because I love you" 's

I find myself feeling on top of the world

I don't know how you did it
Or why you make me feel all these things
All I know is that






You grew a universe inside of me


&





I don't ever want to lose you.

numbness to pain does not make it
non existent
floating imaginations do not make them
unreal
(h)arsh reality does not make it
fiction
big dreams do not me(a)n they're
unattainable
high **(p)es do not mean you're
delusional
sadness does not mean
depress(i)on
happi(n)ess doesn't have to mean you're
bipolar
wanting more do(e)sn't make you
ungrateful
and all these words that (s)ociety uses against you
to make you feel

weak

unaccepted


vulnerable
&

broken



di(s)card them.

all you need,
to be happy
is positivity

*this is my promise to you.

I'm writing a song today,
While I try to keep my thoughts at bay.
A tune that will keep your face,
Stamped in my heart with some lace.
A verse that'll be filled with your favorite words,
I'll try to match that with perfect chords.
A bridge that'll be saturated with our memories,
And all the emotion that your heart carries.
A chorus that'll rhyme with all  the days you make me smile,
Even when sadness seems to pile.
I'll then put the song into a disk,
And maybe take a huge risk?
For the song will be ours,
And we'll listen to it for hours.
As dawn turns to dusk,
As the environment smells like musk.

The song will diffuse into our veins,
As we fly towards the clouds to meet the saints.
For there is serenity in these words,
*For they are mightier than the swords.

Settle your head on the deep, green grass,
For I'm about to take you on a journey that will last.
Wipe away your tears,
And chase away your fears.

Stare into the sky,
Do you want to fly?
Do you want to fight;
With all your might?

Do you want to prove them wrong,
For making you look anything but strong?
Do you want to carve your success,
And show them your progress?

Do you want to win,
Even if emotions slam you down with a pin?
Do you want to live,
Even if nights make you want to walk off a cliff?

You need to win this battle.
Not against society,
Not against your neighbour.
Not against your best friend,
Not against your boyfriend.

You need to win this battle,
Against the demons in your head.
You need to win this battle,
For yourself.


For once in your life, put yourself above everyone else.
*It will make a difference.