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I'll be okay just not tonight
I don't love you that way (I thought)
Can I be weak tonight?

It's hard being strong
I can only do this for so long
I'm trying to survive
Trying not to die

The world is against me why do I try?
There is nothing I can do
No where I can run
No place to hide

If I can survive the night
The light is easy
Daytime is fine
The dark is when the demons eat me

Don't move to fast
I cant keep up
Don't go to slow
They'll get to close

I'm trying to live
But the world is dying
I'll be okay
If you can save me
  Dec 2014 Lindsey Nicole Isbell
Miki
"How do you keep so unattatched?"*

What do you mean?
I hear this question so much.
I guess you just dont see.

I'm not holding back
Or doing anything
I just don't know how
To hold onto anything

I never had a home
Or any long term friends
Letting go is manditory
Everything ends

This isn't a good thing
I don't know how to love
Don't try to be me
It hurts. It's numb

I'd rather be attatched
Sown at the hip
Helplessly heartbroken
Longing for your lips

Instead i despise you
For latching on so tight
I just want to run
I know that isn't right

So don't ask me that again
There's no special trick
If i could love i would
If only i could stick
An explanation
Your lips on mine
The touch of your hands
I want the feel of you skin

Our mouths moving in time
No space between us
Exploring

Wanting in your mind
Knowing you are mine

Your lips on my neck
Rough
Insistent
Making me want more

All I want is you
No one else
Nothing else
I want you to merge with me
I want us to become one

But alas I'm afraid
I sense you are too
One day will be the day
We wont turn away
We won't hide from our love

More than kissing
More than feeling
Actually taking what is mine
Knowing there is no one else

You have my heart and no one else
I could never love anyone else
The way I do you

You are my world
My light
Everything

Nothing compares to you
With your sometimes tan skin
Your gorgeous blue eyes

With all your quirks
You are amazing
No one is better than you

It's hard to find the right words
The right words to describe you

Amazing
Sweet
Loving

You're all I need
You're all I want
You and your mouth
Your touch
Your warmth
your love
All your quirks
All your love
You
My eyes are dead
My smile still shows
No one knows the pain inside my soul
You're the one who kills me the most
You're the one who makes my heart glow
You do both
But you do not know
The girl in the mirror today isn't me
The girl in the mirror is pale and pretty
I might be pale
but pretty is not a word that describes me

Who is this stranger
Staring back at me
I don't know her
but I don't know me

Maybe this is meant to be me
Am I supposed to become the girl I see?
how can I do that when I know that can't be
The girl in the mirror; she is not me

She's someone else
I can't steal her for me
It would put her in my pain
I can't do that
So here I'll stay

Maybe one day
When I look in the mirror
I'll see me
Having something to say
Don't want to be in the way
Scared to speak up
It's better this way
I'll keep to myself
Quietly, I keep my place
This is me
I can't be any other way
I'll be okay
Don't worry about me
I'm just tired
I need to sleep
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