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 Jun 2016 lilpoiein
K603
God dam it
Dam me

The devil took my soul
Scorched my heart
Now the gates are locked

Hurt and pain corse threw me
I'm overwhelmed
Tonight I met a boy with wild green eyes.
Tonight I met a boy.
Tonight I met a boy.
Written: June 2016.
Explanation: On the evening of Wednesday 15th/morning of Thursday 16th June 2016, I had a very vivid dream. I usually only have dreams like this once every few months. In this dream, full of short scenes that made no real coherent sense, I am with a friend in an apartment block, sort of like a hotel. At one point, he's making me breakfast (cereal and chips of all things), then I'm taking photos of him on the roof as the sun sets, then he lets go of a carrier bag for some reason. Anyway, the main part of the dream involved me in a bar of some kind, and there are guys and girls everywhere. I am slightly younger than I am now. I catch the eyes of a blonde girl with light blue eyeshadow. Later, back in the hotel, she throws a scrapbook at me, full of images of her and typed-up poems, one of which I read in the dream and think is about me.
Upon waking this morning, I tried very hard to remember all that I could, and have decided to post the 'poem' here so I can remember the dream in the future. I have been brief in my description of it. I can't quite recall the first line, but the following two lines were, I'm pretty sure, in my dream.
A link to my Facebook writing page can be found on my HP home page.
NOTE: Many of my older pieces will be removed from HP at some point in the future.
 May 2016 lilpoiein
GaryFairy
seeing how self centered i am
means i'm more self centered than I thought
i find myself buying my words
then i give away the words i bought

that's just me
a day in the life of misery
born to be
a life in the days of tragedy

poking the monster that lives inside
then loving the monster i fought
i find myself catching a beast
then releasing the beast that i caught

that's just me
a day in the life of misery
born to be
a life in the days of tragedy

i guess that's just the way i am
i try to learn what can't be taught
i just bring my heart and my words
and i give away the words i brought
repost from two years ago
Coming from nobody,
I was but an afraid little boy.

Ambition or desire meant nothing to me,
And like a mouse I hid in my little corner.

Anger and torment embedded,
While lashing out at the weakest things.

In my youth I was an afraid little boy,
But my deepest desire was to express.

When you express your thoughts,
You can free yourself from torment.

With words meld with your purest thoughts,
and exposing yourself help break away from individual personal chain,

Truly those who can look at their weakness,
They can break away from their fears,
And loving one self is the first step in healing.

My empty ambition became thirsty,
And then the emptiness became desire.

I dared ambition to consume me,
And desire to take me with vengence.
No longer that little boy afraid.

See I was never free however,
Because being Korean meant family first,
But if the king was a fool?

What is love?
Better yet what is living?

Is it true vile, greedy, arrogant people live on,
But those innocence is the very first casualty?

I could not be afraid little boy no longer,
I must become a man with his dreams,
And hunger to want everything.

When I moved from Minnesota to Kentucky,
I knew no one, and had any clear vision.

I just knew if I restarted fresh from where I stood, life would open up for my conquest to reach my goals.

So here I stand in my kingdom, with fortress in developement,
For now I am the Lord of my initial dream.
I came to Kentucky as a nobody, knowing no one, but been recently promoted to STS of Kentucky market!  Do dare dream and seek, for not all your work will be in vain. All those long hours, and those time travelling paid off!
Structures of organizations with rules and standards,
So what is this world that offer a simple touch,
Or embrace with sensibilities of our inner desires.

A joke this life can be,
And laughter of echoed eternality,
Inner grasp by a tug upon our hearts.

These laws that we follow with honor,
Ripped by the people who architected and dismissed,
Or disowned by the powers that may be.

Do they not keep their words they utter,
And do they have no chivalry or honor left,
For all is a voice with empty shell in the dark.

All things in life is but a ghastly shadow,
But your inner truth will be your lighthouse!
All things are a walk in a moment in life, and in life nothing is more honest than your truthful thoughts unraveled by your own journey to explore the moments.
 Dec 2015 lilpoiein
Tabitha
He is a song that misses a beat,
Something out of place,
At times makes sense,
Until the chorus begins,
Without much foundation,
Structures or goals,
Struggles to redeem,
He fits the puzzle until he leaves,
Fills a void that no one else can,
He leaves and returns to remind me,
That something is out of place...
And in the moment it all make sense
When you are in a constant loop with someone
 Oct 2015 lilpoiein
GaryFairy
solely engrossed, slow to emotions
prone to be a soul that is broken
lowly focus, frozen devotion
vocal notions erode when unspoken

doing fine, i lie with a smile
while i fight my own private trial
i clear my head, i'm alright for a while
but
a mind that is clear is a mind in denial

goal, avoidance of a throat opened
my vocal notions will go unspoken
choking on the voices stolen
prone to be a soul that is broken
working with long o and long i sounds
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