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Apr 6 · 10
Sucks for me
lilpoiein Apr 6
***** for me
My home is a mess
literally and emotionally
I think my dad secretly hates me
Just like how I’ve hated my dad all these while
Absent father, no emotional support
My mother care too much, and always invalidates my emotions and experiences
What’s the point of giving birth,
If you’re not going to support the child?
Why was I even born into this unhealthy family
***** for me
#rant
Continue reading...
Mar 10 · 29
Untitled
lilpoiein Mar 10
Untitled
I can.
I am creative.
I can create.
Continue reading...
Mar 10 · 16
Untitled 3
lilpoiein Mar 10
Untitled 3
I declare I’m a masterpiece.
If you say so, so it will be.
Only your truth matters.
PTL.
Continue reading...
Mar 4 · 111
New beginning
lilpoiein Mar 4
New beginning
My 20s is ending.
I did nothing to savour it.
I was chasing and I rolled down a hill.
Haha… at least I could laugh it off…

I was caught off guard.
I need new alignments.
30s would be a brand new start.
Literally.
Continue reading...
Nov 2023 · 245
DDI29
lilpoiein Nov 2023
DDI29
Baby steps
It’s not a game
It’s not a race
It’s a at your own pace
Kinda path
Relax and don’t overthink
Continue reading...
Nov 2022 · 2.4k
Wasn’t me
lilpoiein Nov 2022
Wasn’t me
I kept thinking that was me
But that wasn’t me
That wasn’t me
Who was I then
If that wasn’t me

I couldn’t comprehend
I couldn’t come to terms

It felt so real, all the thoughts
All the imagination, it felt like me

But it wasn’t me
#mentalhealth #schizophrenia
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Apr 2022 · 105
Highs
lilpoiein Apr 2022
Highs
Ah yes!
I couldn’t maintain the highs
The waves of the low hits me hard
I couldn’t hold it together
And it kept trying to take me away
I almost…
Continue reading...
Apr 2022 · 110
Okay
lilpoiein Apr 2022
Okay
When I’m okay
Time will tell
Maybe when I stop reminiscing my old self

Slowly slowly
When I’m okay
Good or no good also passed already
Continue reading...
Feb 2022 · 564
Affirmation Day
lilpoiein Feb 2022
Affirmation Day
Repeat after me:
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Feb 2022 · 266
Fluffy
lilpoiein Feb 2022
Fluffy
They say dreams are clouds
Evaporates
Fluffy and just nice to look at
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Dec 2021 · 417
Phase 3
lilpoiein Dec 2021
Phase 3
Out of my comfort zone
Where is my safest place

Unwind and slow down
Catch yourself on
Tell yourself kind words

Antidepressants episodes
Staying afloat
Continue reading...
Dec 2021 · 268
Ask for help
lilpoiein Dec 2021
Ask for help
Self love
Self care
Reminder
The topic all over again
A healing journey

2 weeks medical leaves
Taking time off to recalibrate

For your best interests
Articulate your experience
And emotions
Continue reading...
Jun 2021 · 113
Psychosis
lilpoiein Jun 2021
Psychosis
Irrational thoughts
Lost inside my head

Paranoid, delusional, hallucinations
Something really bad

A few episodes
Living with voices
Talking to them

Electroconvulsive therapy
Controlling, something is lost

Wanna keep talking about it
Never the same as before
I want back myself

Pain, trauma, suicidal
Sometimes moving on
Thinking of a new start
Sometimes stuck in the same cycle
#mental #health
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Dec 2019 · 113
ilysb
lilpoiein Dec 2019
ilysb
It's the time of the day again,
do not disturb the mode
I can get away with
and stay in with no one

Days like this
I live a slower pace,
the intimacy is mine
and I have vague plans

I set the mood with
my love-making playlist,
"grown-up lullaby"
laid-back and mellow beats,
lately is what I'm into

(private conversation)
Don't tell me, "I love you" do I love you

It's a safe space here

Long-term benefits,
so multidimensional just me
and what's on my mind

God knows I swear
and everything is alright
Continue reading...
Mar 2019 · 124
Untitled 2
lilpoiein Mar 2019
Untitled 2
I am your work of art.
Your masterpiece.
Continue reading...
Jun 2018 · 164
hiatus for 365
lilpoiein Jun 2018
hiatus for 365
covers of clouds
i'm still blooming
it's still midsummer madness
(10 words)
Continue reading...
Jan 2017 · 514
hand-made paper boat
lilpoiein Jan 2017
hand-made paper boat
The wind blew
The paper boat sailed
I did not hold back
And you let it sail...
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Jan 2017 · 432
Untitled
lilpoiein Jan 2017
Untitled
We couldn't enjoy long silence together.
We couldn't enjoy long distance together.
We couldn't enjoy the idea of love altogether.
Continue reading...
Jan 2017 · 569
Untitled
lilpoiein Jan 2017
Untitled
I wish you see through me. Like looking beneath the water. All you see was the reflection you picked up from the surface of the water. Nothing you see is quite like me. Needlessly, nothing was done for a deeper plunge.
Continue reading...
Jan 2017 · 355
Untitled
lilpoiein Jan 2017
Untitled
We couldn't grow together.
I am like wheat.
You are like ****.
Continue reading...
Dec 2016 · 560
No new year
lilpoiein Dec 2016
No new year
Every month is a new month.
Everyday is a new day.
Continue reading...
Dec 2016 · 570
Something like something sweet nothing
lilpoiein Dec 2016
Something like something sweet nothing
We are only as close as we allow.
It's true we've gotten closer and it's true we will never be together.
It's true; Love is the ultimate unreasonable activity.

It's adorably cruel.
Continue reading...
Dec 2016 · 372
What can I do but dream
lilpoiein Dec 2016
What can I do but dream
One glance and you can see my dreams arranged admirably on my bookshelf in such a way that it looks like it's only for display. As of now.

As of now, a collector of dreams.
Some people say, never to tell your dreams...
As of now, I'm tired of dreaming.
Some people say, you will never wake up from your tired dreams...
As of now, dream on
Continue reading...
Dec 2016 · 319
I pretentiously water you
lilpoiein Dec 2016
I pretentiously water you
I am a flower.
A decorative.
In a corner of a room.
I am a vein plant.
I have a purpose.
To be aesthetic.

You see me alive.
You see me well.
I don't die.
I am plastic.

I know you.
You only want me to be a still art.
A silent watch.
In a corner of a room.
Continue reading...
Dec 2016 · 257
Private reading
lilpoiein Dec 2016
Private reading
I live a private life.
Everything I say is a private thing.

The more you know about me,
The more you don't want to know about me,
The more you don't know about me,
The more you want to know about me,

You almost know me and that is a scary thing.
Most people don't read far.
Most people won't pick me up again.

Most people think is,
Weird mystery, weird music, weird everything.

Place me on your fancy bookshelf.
Continue reading...
Dec 2016 · 265
You little shit
lilpoiein Dec 2016
You little ****
Those loverlike they ran away.
Such is a foul play of fondness.
Such is a psychological rebellious.
Such is a complicatarded relationshit.
Continue reading...
Oct 2016 · 201
Untitled
lilpoiein Oct 2016
Untitled
You make me breathe too hard
You make me stop breathing

You make me breathe too deep
You make me love to hate
You make me cry and hurt too deep
You make me fall deep
You make me anticipate on ground zero

You make me sick
You make me work for love
You make me tired

You make me hate to love
Continue reading...
Oct 2016 · 353
A foul play of fondness
lilpoiein Oct 2016
A foul play of fondness
They found a quaint vacation spot.
They felt so much like something but of only a microscopic vision; through their idealist imagination it was so much of a grandeur encounter.

Feel too much but your presence still disappear. Troubled naked eyes; stop acting so curious. Stop being mysterious. The bloodshed love, your psychological fears. A close heuristic encounter.

Those loverlike they ran away.
Continue reading...
Oct 2016 · 290
#goal part 5
lilpoiein Oct 2016
#goal part 5
My highest ambition, hopefully my forever joy.
In my goal and sweat, my proudest.
I choose to point it back to you.

I am feeling movement as you rise
and I sink in the ocean depth.

Stroke
By
Stroke

I will swim
Continue reading...
Oct 2016 · 194
Heartache shape
lilpoiein Oct 2016
Heartache shape
Love is hard to imagine
Love is the hardest to keep
Love is the hardest to give
Love is simple
Love is deep
Love is everything I wish I could do
Love is real
Love is a choice
Continue reading...
Sep 2016 · 228
I am entitled to whatever
lilpoiein Sep 2016
I am entitled to whatever
think of me whatever
say of me whatever
because I am whatever
This will remain the same forever
Continue reading...
Sep 2016 · 617
My life starts later
lilpoiein Sep 2016
My life starts later
My night ends late
And my morning starts late

*Nocturnal late bloomer
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Sep 2016 · 186
Deliver me from evil
lilpoiein Sep 2016
Deliver me from evil
The day I turn my ways against you.
The day I fall short of my ambition.
On the day, cast me not away.
The day, my fellow sisters and brothers pray for me.
That ye may be able to stand strong in my weakness.
For only He can make me, me.
Continue reading...
Sep 2016 · 316
tonight again, i am with myself
lilpoiein Sep 2016
tonight again, i am with myself
many times i disagree with myself
but
many nights i find myself with the same impression
that the nights are the most beautiful hours of the time
... the quietest
... the stillness
you cannot find in a busy afternoon

The nights
Are the perfect company
For myself

but
many times i am still in denial that there is a perfect time for myself
Continue reading...
Aug 2016 · 293
#goal part4
lilpoiein Aug 2016
#goal part4
Critic says...
People muddle at what you are doing.
A crowd is displaying signs of apathy.
Scrutiny is upon you, fear you will be.

Comment says...
"Some people are poorer than your dreams;
  they are ambitiously bankrupt."
"Many people doing the same art."
"Is not for everyone."
"She's just doing."
"Not my fancy. "
"I hate that the idea exist."
"You gotta get love and you gotta get hate for the things you love to do."

I say...
My pleasure is not in pleasing you.
Continue reading...
Aug 2016 · 253
#goal part3
lilpoiein Aug 2016
#goal part3
I am ready. Godspeed.
In labour of love, even as a professional amateur.
Feeling ambitious... Getting ready to swim for that.

stroke
by
stroke
Continue reading...
Jul 2016 · 242
#goal part2
lilpoiein Jul 2016
#goal part2
I'm poorer than my dreams.
My 99% sweat can't afford to beat $€¥¢
even if I swim for that.
Continue reading...
Jul 2016 · 477
Forever your child
lilpoiein Jul 2016
Forever your child
Old enough to be grateful for what you've provided for me.

Old enough to take care and think for myself.

Old enough to say farewell to you.

And old enough to know I am still afraid of losing you.
Continue reading...
Jul 2016 · 224
Untitled
lilpoiein Jul 2016
Untitled
If I fall...
I might fall off...
Continue reading...
Jul 2016 · 234
You..
lilpoiein Jul 2016
You..
I'm thinking...

I want to ask...
Are you alright?

(I am concern)
Continue reading...
Jul 2016 · 221
Optional
lilpoiein Jul 2016
Optional
Maybe you know me,

Perhaps you could comfort me,

Probably shouldn't be asking further more,

Just show me you love me,

You already know that's what I need,

A deeper love between us.
Continue reading...
Jun 2016 · 230
ILY
lilpoiein Jun 2016
ILY
It is easier to have attraction to things.
You can buy it with a 2 year guarantee.
You don't even need to be in a relationship.
Isn't it easier to love things?
Continue reading...
Jun 2016 · 221
one life to breathe
lilpoiein Jun 2016
one life to breathe
a poem of one deep breath
a poem of words that has breath

the words that are left
are a poem of final breath
Continue reading...
Jun 2016 · 208
Untitled
lilpoiein Jun 2016
Untitled
I don't wish for more time.
I don't wish for more money.

I wish to be more zealous.
Continue reading...
Jun 2016 · 274
no talks
lilpoiein Jun 2016
no talks
We had pillow talks but we don't talk anymore

Not how we used to

Reckless behaviour, too afraid I will be wrong

Closing, you are gone

Holding myself together, lying down on bed

We don't, we dont
Pillow talks x We don't talk anymore
Continue reading...
Jun 2016 · 247
period
lilpoiein Jun 2016
period
I want to be all
often it's not
I have been none
and times to some
but not even one
Once and all at period
...
Continue reading...
Jun 2016 · 249
rebellious love
lilpoiein Jun 2016
rebellious love
i love poetry
i don't have to play to any rules
i am free
I am
I am in poetry
Continue reading...
Jun 2016 · 205
A piece of me
lilpoiein Jun 2016
A piece of me
If you must; taking a piece of me.

We all leave words in people's ear.

Leave with the best of my words and leave it, the words that no longer speak in the present.
Continue reading...
Jun 2016 · 199
Untitled
lilpoiein Jun 2016
Untitled
The world inside of me is astronomical for me to finish exploring.
Continue reading...
Jun 2016 · 195
Untitled
lilpoiein Jun 2016
Untitled
Even for myself I run out of time even for myself
No time for you, where do I find time for you
Continue reading...
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