You look at my body
And tell me i'm pretty
I turn away and you say
"Dang what a hottie"

Why is it that every time i hear
a catcall or whistle
instead of feeling good  
I turn in anger and I bristle

I wish when you saw my curves
you wouldn't gawk
instead walk over to me
and let's talk

I feel nasty in my own skin
I shrink out of embarrassment
uncomfortable in the only place I've ever been
wishing more than anything that I had no body

I fear that the only reason you like me
is not for my heart
wish that wasn't how it has to be
but that's how it's been from the start

So I will ask now
how
when
who
will love me, for me?

I will no longer surrender my tears to you.

I will surrender them to someone who deserves them.

[ Caution ]
[ Fragile ]

Our legs tangle together beneath tables.
Our smiles complete each other.
Your eyes are crystal blue.
Mine are a crimson red.

You reach over and caress my hand.
It feels good when you rub my knuckles.
You place a kiss.
It feels good.

But,
uneasy.

I love when you hold my waist.
We ballroom dance in the small kitchen space.
You rest your head on my thighs.
It feels nice.

You pull open my skin to look at my heart.
Your mouth gapes open.
Are you surprised to see it shattered apart?
It wasn't my choice, however.

Not mine,
not at all.

You hold red glass, cutting your skin.
Hurriedly you try to put them together.
I've been hurt before.
What's a little more?

Two pieces connect at the hip.
You smile through bloodied hands.
The pieces shiver in your touch.
You caress them with such compassion.

It stings,
but in a good way.

Slowly but surely, the pieces stick together.
A glass heart, torn at the seems.
You place it back, and stitch me up.
You smile at me, though your hands are scratched.

I kiss your wounds.
You cry for me.
I never believed in true love.
But this time, I'll give it a shot.

fifteen and stupid
tuesday afternoon
after school, after four
early decemeber
snowing softly

in your room
with the lights
turned off
only christmas lights
lit up our faces

i was timid
and scared
you were confident
and brave

you grabbed me
and kissed me
terribly

i hated it
the kiss
i hated you
the person

but i never
pushed you away
or told you no

but i wish i had
pushed you off me
and wiped my mouth
clean of your saliva
told you how
this isn't what i asked for

but i didn't

and i paid for that

by dating you for almost
a whole year before
i decided i didn't
want this
this kiss
this person

I saw the flames in her eyes
two small embers that raged
I felt unsure as to the
materials used for her kindling
the line is thin between
passion and loathing
and I did not know
whether I should embrace the heat
or run for water

The sensation of thick honey
Gliding down your throat,
Enveloping your tongue in
A heavy, smooth numbness that warms your buds,
Dissolving into sweet ecstasy.

The smell of rain
Soaking into parched soil,
Tingling your nostrils,
Tickling your senses,
Encompassing you with inexplicable calmness.

The sound of water
Fervently gushing over grainy, crusty rocks,
Pacifying the unruly boulders with relentless patience,
Accompanied by snippets of birdsong.

Holding up your face
To the warmth of the sun,
On a chilly afternoon
Enhanced with the fresh, toasty fragrance of trees,
Closing your eyes,
Surrendering yourself to bliss.

Crushing fresh fruit,
With ruthless power,
Vibrant juice oozing,
Trickling down your hands,
Creating streams of colourful rivulets.

love yourself
get lost
in your own eyes
let any tears
that touch your cheeks
turn your lashes
to gardens

s.s