i love you so much i'm going to make you hate me.
if you hate me, you'll find someone who makes you happy.
i don't want you to hate me, but
i want you to be happy.
i tear at my skin, rip the flesh off the bone
layers and layers peel away
i reveal my core, it's broken and confusing
black bones and stars and weeds stuck between
everything looks thrown together
nothing belongs here
my lips burn and sting; for i only long to kiss you
you are not my best friend
you're petty and foul
uncaring and destructive
do you even care anymore?
i'm in love with the dying.
every time i go back to that place
i remember calling you
and telling you how excited i was
but also how scared i was
you told me it was okay
i remember my friends talking to you
and they were laughing
and i had a huge smile on my face
you wanted to hang up
i told you that i had to go
and i reminded you i loved you
i held the phone to my ear
i don't remember you saying you loved me back
you stay muted and i do the talking
it's a different feeling for me
but i enjoy it because you turn on your camera
i love watching you smile when i'm talking
you remind me what it feels like to have a
stranger love me, and just me.
i'm watching you sleep right now
and i'm wondering if he ever thought
the same things i'm thinking
when i fell asleep on him
did you stay because you cared?