Don't tell me I'm wrong for falling in love.
What's wrong is you pushing me away.
The look in your eyes, like I'm someone you never knew.
Tell me, what exactly did I do?

I could do anything I want to do.
I could be anything if I wanted to.
But I'll waste my time
living a beautiful lie.
At least I can say that I
lived while I was alive.

There's a rainbow in the sky
   Painted up on
                                   High
I take that as a sign
                                            Of great Things to come
  Like O you'll love me deeply
       And O I'll embrace
              New life completely
    Falling into open arms so spirit sunken sweetly, weakly
   Showing us all the right way
                     To begin again

"Please lay down with me for just five minutes"

"It will never be just five minutes"

"Yes, it will be, I promise"

"Okay, fine."

Home alone with thunderstorms make you feel so all alone
So that when you forget trivial things
Like retainers in people's cars
They become a necessity
So I call and you drive over a nine o clock in a monsoon
To give me a piece of plastic that fits around my molars
I did actually need it, but I wanted your company instead
So I got excited when I saw your lights outside
And greeted you at the door in my pajamas
You handed me my retainer and a bag of clothes from over the weekend

"You look cute"

"Haha! Thanks, I'm in my pajamas except for one thing..."

I slipped my bra off and could see you intrigued
It was not to ****** you, because I normally don't wear it at bedtime
But you took the initiative and slid your hands up my shirt
And then removed it all together
I was thinking to myself
Wow, I have never not had a shirt on in my own kitchen before
But I tried not to talk because I heard that it ruins the moment

Before I knew it, you were touching me, kissing me, caressing me
And you removed my shorts as well, then sat me on my kitchen counter
Then I thought,
******! I will have to wipe this off after we are done because I am sitting on it! And this is not a sanitary environment to prepare food in... But at the moment I really don't care because it feels good and his **** looks bigger than the last time I saw it

And thought,
Wow, my hair is almost long enough to cover my *******. If I grew it out all the way down to my waist, I could look like Lady Godiva riding the horse naked! But who would ever want to ride a horse naked?

And thought,
I really hope that my parents didn't lie to me about where they were on their way home. Because if they walk in through the door at this exact moment, I would be so *******. And then they would see me almost naked, which would be bad too

And thought,
What if my neighbors can see me standing ******* in my kitchen? Why don't we have curtains in here or something?

We never had ***, but we could have.
We could do a lot of things, but we don't
But we do know how to make the most of our time
And now that we had an hour, it seemed so long
We finished rather quickly... or... well... he finished rather quickly
In a matter of twenty minutes    
He finished like most guys do
I was just left unfinished like most girls are
At least he is kind enough to tap out before he **** in my mouth

But after we get it out of our systems, it starts to settle in
The instinctual desire to be held after a ****** encounter on the counter
So that led me to say...

"Please lay down with me for just five minutes"

"It will never be just five minutes"

"Yes, it will be, I promise"

"Okay, fine."

And you followed me up the staircase that was half-illuminated with sparks of lightning
We both crawled into my bed, I turned out the light, and we just laid there
It was the most perfect moment
And I could not keep my impulsive thoughts quiet anymore
So, while I was wrapped around him, I said,

"You know, if I could spend a night with you on the condition that I would not be able to do ****** things with you, but be able to just sleep next to you, I would"

And that seemed to make sense to him
Even though I feel like I am confusing, he gets me
He just smiled and said

*"Me too"

I want a girl with eyes like daggers
that tear her up when she's looking at me
with a mind that badgers
and I know it's thinking about me

I want a girl with hair so wild
but eyes that could calm the sea
with a voice that smiles
every time it's talking about  me

I want a girl with a real good grip
and hands as soft as sunlight
with her arms wrapped 'round my hips
sleeping next to me all night

I want a girl that likes to read
so she can read all that I write about her
a constant source of inspiration to me
she never lets me run out of words

I want a girl that likes to ****
and wouldn't mind falling asleep right after
with a talent for making her own luck
and getting  people to fall for her

I want a girl that wants me too
that made a list of qualities I happen to possess
I want to know you're right for me and I'm right for you
and we won't turn this into a mess.

                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                      *smndi

I remember sitting in some basement at 10:58 on a random summer night
I remember how the movie we watched wasn't very scary
I remember we both pretended it was so we had an excuse to cuddle together
I remember long nights dreaming about you and I together
I remember how seconds felt like hours staring into your eyes
I remember standing together at one in the morning
I remember how the car broke down, and we were both oh so chilly
I remember the feel of your breath on my neck as we stood together
I remember explaining the next day how we were just friends
I remember a time before all I could think was I love you
I remember being scared you wouldn't feel the same way
I remember waking up next to you
I remember wishing we were old enough to wake up together every day
I remember long looks, quick smiles, bad jokes, sweaty hands
I remember shared drinks, borrowed clothes, tight hugs, your laugh
I forget when it was exactly that I fell in love with you
But I know that ever since, nothing was the same