Don’t talk like you’re coming back.

Some days I have to breathe a little bit louder, cry a little bit harder, just so that i can realize I'm still alive without you.
Some days I can still hear the beating of whatever is left of my heart and if I could take all that is left and give it to you.
And I'm starting to think that you left because I ran out of lovable pieces and all that was left of me was the pent up anger and self-hatred.
And maybe one day I will be okay without you, but I will never stop missing you.

How did you stop missing me so fast? I need to figure out how to get you out of my head. Nothing works. Thank you for the best 4 years of my life, i wouldn’t be alive right now if it weren’t for you. You know things about me no one else does and things no one else ever will. I want to thank you for making me feel like i was worth something. Thank you for the past years, i’d be lying if said i wasn’t crying while writing this.  Thank you for telling me you loved me because I needed to here it, I needed to know that someone wanted me to stick around.

You were my light, my sun, my world. You made my days brighter. And now I’ll have to cope with living in the darkness. I wish you all the happiness in the world. I’m reading our old conversations and it hurts to know that these are all the memories we will ever have with each other.

Back then you saved my life. You don’t know how much I loved you. You made me a better person. You made me see what really matters in life. I am so thankful for having you in my life, and I’m so happy I meant something to you. Everybody sees how wonderful you are, everybody notices you’re made of pure gold. If you call, I’ll answer. If you ask me to be there,  I will, because you will ALWAYS mean so much to me.

If I have one regret it’s loosing you. Let the sleepless nights begin. I can’t even switch my brain off. I’m so messed up over you. But hey that’s life right? and it’s okay.

Yes we drifted apart but i still considered you my best friend because there wasn’t anyone in the world that knew me like you did. I saw you as someone who will be with me for the rest of my life but that was just me being delusional. When your just so casually replaced you almost don’t notice, i wish i had noticed, **** i really wish i had.

I can feel myself getting stronger and stronger each day. But then there are those lonely nights, or the mornings when I wake up and remember that you’re gone, or the empty voids of time where we used to talk and everything i had built up comes crashing down. But i will be okay, i want you to know that. i love you, you taught me so much about life and myself, so thank you.

It’s okay that I couldn’t make you stay, I promise to never forget you.

I love you so much