i don’t always
think about you
with soft skin
wrapped in satin sheets
nor do i always
think about you
with wide eyes
and a forgiving laugh
but i do always
think about you.
i always think about you.
sometimes i wish i could stop.
sometimes i wish i’d never stop.
sometimes i don’t know
what it is i am even thinking of
but there you are.
between each thought
between each flash
an infinite number of neuron's
firing through my brain
an endless electrical dance
and still
there you remain.

I don't want to give up
In the face of everything telling me to let go
I wish I didn't,
But I know
And yes I know
Part of me will fall apart
My only hope is that it's slow
Praying to no one
That no one will know
Hope it doesn't show
But hope is so shallow
Hide behind my shadow
But don't allow
Darkness to retake control
And ransack this soul
Restacking the goal
The top goal flipped
To basic survival
Gone are the illusions
Of ever again being whole
Back in my hole I go
Back to the simple
A *******
Limping back to what I know

©2024