I won’t lie and say it doesn't hurt
It’s been a few years
Life moves on
But some of us won’t or just can’t anymore

If I could
I’d go back in time to keep you safe
But I can’t
I want you alive but it’s impossible

After your death
friendships broke apart
tension rose
I started to fall as well

After your death
secrets came out
the light behind your eyes had fallen and risen

Even so, the cruel reminder is there
If you had lived,
we’d be seeing each other

As time passes,
We experienced many things
And as we grow older,
We will experience more
But you can’t

I miss you
I really do.
If only I had more time.

If only.

If.

Only.

MY people are gray,
  pigeon gray, dawn gray, storm gray.
I call them beautiful,
  and I wonder where they are going.

I painted you wonderlands of sorry
I flew over mountains of pain
And I swam in the coldest part of regret
But none of it
Made you
Forgive
Me

Often times I feel disconnected to reality,
Like I am there physically
But mentally I am not.
I am fully aware of my surrounding,
I am fully aware of people passing by,
It just feels like a complete blur.
Sometimes, people talk to me,
I listen,
But my mind wanders somewhere else.

tears

  fill my eyes

                       I grab my pen



a fire

  burns in my stomach

                       I grab my pen



tapping

  engulfs my limbs

                       I grab my pen


warmth

  encompasses my entirety

             my lips turned up

                       I grab my sneakers

                                                                              forgetting about my pen