A little girl
half like me and half like them-
Born in the year
When my childhood would end

On the other side of the world,
somewhere far away,
in a place I've never even heard of-
She sleeps every night.

Parents of different cultures,
Nothing alike,
She shares the traits of both:
Caramel skin and chocolate eyes.

A family I've never met,
My family, my closest ones,
Across the ocean,
Out of sight.

She doesn't know me.
Half of them don't.
But the other half,
they just pretend
that they do.

But they don't really know me,
I guess, they never did,
For all my childhood years
who was I and who were they?

Then, she was born,
like nothing happened,
Nobody said anything,
everything stayed the same

Like we are not half the same,
Half related,
Half blood-connected,
Like we are nothing,
nothing at all.

She knows nothing yet,
But I do.
And they say I am too proud
To let go of the past,

But I am not proud
of me or them,
I tried to forgive
a long time ago.

I am not
Too proud
to let it go,
I just realised
They don't care
Too much
for me to try.

I wish I could break these stupid habits:
Stop touching my face
To get clear skin,
Stop looking in the mirror
To see how I look
Even though I know I look fine.

I wish I could break these silly habits:
Stop thinking about judgement in every place
that I go,
Not think about makeup
When I go for a swim,

Not look at my body in the mirror
And see
Imperfections of beauty,
Like beauty is something you can easily define.

I look fine.

I'm not mediocre
And, perhaps, I'm not divine,
When I see my reflection
I wish I could stop criticizing
Myself.
And looking at every bump and scratch on my cheeks and nose

I want to break these habits
of self-doubt and insufficient self-worth

I want to break these habits
of not feeling good enough-
When I know that I am.