why can't I sleep
on those lonely nights I try,
why can't I dream
on those nights I want to die,
why can't I think
when I want some imagination
and now I'm stuck
in this maze of an equation
always looking for the answer
but it seems it got taken
so I'm on a search
looking for the right reasons
to live and be free
when its death that I'm eating

if i had three wishes
id wish i was still a kid
with that over confidence
dreams always growing big
because when i was young
i wouldnt be afraid of all these people
always racing to be better like they're in a game of steeple
now we're shooting our own,
for the simple plot of attention
it's like hollywood wanted more
and this life was an invention
because we live around drama
we live around war
i just wanted peace
they just wanted more

if i had three wishes
id wish for a world of peace
people saying "he's a terrorist"
when he's just from the middle east
we're fighting battles,
without so much as a reason
and we keep poking fun
but try to look sad when they're leaving
and we're grieving them
when we led them to their action
all because we wanted what
a ******* reaction
do you know they have a family
a mom and a dad
they have brothers and sisters
and friends that are sad
its like these people are objects
and we're playing with toys
it's like we evolved from adults
men to boys

if i had three wishes
id wish people had morals
always arguing,
for the sake of a quarrel
this **** is getting old
this **** is getting bad
is this life
or just another stupid fad

my father always keeps a hammock in the back of his car,
as if one day we will camp out under a million stars.
that's the kind of spontaneity i long for.
the closest i have gotten was confronting you this week,
and my only result was burned bridges.
i have never camped out under the stars, never gotten drunk, never kissed a stranger.
but i told you i was mad at you and i told you i did not care if you were mad at me too,
and now it is one am and i cannot breath and i feel like i am going to throw up because i cannot stop thinking about last year at this time.
i can't think of one thing that was the same.  i'm not even sure i'm still the same person.

some things sound so weird in past tense.

With my Inner Child I sit
I must, I am her
I Love her, and I will show her I Care
I want to understand her
What she likes
What she fears
Why she fears
How can I calm her
How can I guide her
To remind her
I've got hold of her hand
I will walk her into the World
I won't let go, or lead her to danger
I ask her her thoughts and listen intently, I want to know her stories
I want to know the joys, her silliness
I need to know what makes her run and hide in the dark, alone
What must be resolved to quell the frustration that gnaws at her mind
I want to regain her Trust and show her how it's done to keep her walking, head held high, to smile not to cry, to play not to restrain her wondrous ways, to play with her how she likes to
I must be understanding but firm
I must ask she also listen and learn
I am her extended in Time
I have grown and learned my lessons well, I will ask to be forgiven for what I have done, I will follow through with what I say to her.
I will allow her to find her identity and celebrate it.
I will allow her to explore and gain confidence in her Value and Worth
I will proudly celebrate her successes and hold her tight when disappointment crosses her path
I will show her resilience and how much fun it is to laugh
I will show her the Pride in Humility and the rewards of Discipline
We are One in the same learning to integrate our common strengths.
I look forward to learning what she teaches me and I will always be Proud to call her my Inner Child.

My Irony is Rusted Dusted, powdered Poison, Brittle Carcass, Cracking Structure, Morbid Reminder, Decay, diseased, Dismantled, Weather Worn, Imperfect.

My Body is Toxic, Sieve of seeping Radicals, free Militia, Marching Madness, Freely Feeding, expelled in Sewage, draining, Septic Seraphim, Godly Sequester, What have We Done?

I'm not Done yet Son, Daughter come, Drink from my River, You are Young, just begun your trek to Eternity, knocking on Doors, Breaking them in, finding your Heart, hidden within, Walls left to scale, True Heart prevails, Do not Fear, your Instinct is Clear, Concise, Ruthless, You Fight for it all to come Down...
Everything Must Come Down
Decimate Foundations that are Outdated, Misused, Faded
Bring to Rubble the Cracked and Broken
Let it Die, rejoin the Earth, recycled and Dead

Come together, Bring yourselves, your Truth, your Tools, your Dignity

Let us All Rebuild the World We Want To Live In.
No More the Voice of Treason
No More Must We Comply
It's Time for Renovation
Renewal is in the Tough of our Skin
The Rough of our Hands
The Strength of our Heart and Will

the lone survivor is on
his raft at sea
creaking and swaying
in a tide that can't decide
calmness or turbulence

the sun is out yet
the clouds are endless
together in their gray
unison like a blanket
of dust

his eyes greet the waters naught
but opaque and black
were it not for the navy streams
from the poor muddled light
overhead

Don’t just take a walk in my shoes. Become my feet.

tonight i went on a date with my windows
they're so large and beautiful i don't think i'll ever live somewhere else in my life with windows as big as these ones
a lot of frankie cosmos because that's how i feel
i'm eagerly lonely
i haven't felt this alone ever
it's like an adult loneliness
i'm alone
i'm swirling that word around inside my head like a marble in a wooden bowl
alone
alone
lonely? yes
also alone