Kelly Marie

Kelly Marie Mar 2015

I can't escape this sadness
I know because I've tried
Trying to fill the emptiness inside of you
Is like trying to finish a puzzle with a missing piece
An empty void, no perfect fit.
No right answer, no words that will fulfill or fix these broken pieces
That I call my life
This is reality, it's no nightmare I can wake up from
They tell you can achieve whatever you put your heart too
But they don't tell you you'll lose everything that matters along the way.
Growing up is a *****, a lesson I wish I could unlearn
So many moments I wish I could undo
Can we hit the pause button so I can try to make sense of the misery inside of me that won't seem to die
Or lessen or be forgotten.
Because I need a moment to take this **** hole in
And process it, and accept it
But the truth is I never will
Because The life I've been dealt is incomprehensible
And it's something I've chosen to push into the corners of my thoughts
I only feel it's cold grip when I feel this vulnerable
A feeling I wish I could be without
So I'll do anything to keep it out
Because id rather hear anything but the truth.
That your gone and have left me to lead this life without you.

#poetry #depression #sadness #loss #you #heartbroken #grief #miss #missing

Kelly Marie Mar 2015

Sleep is an Acquired Skill

A good night sleep is an acquired skill.
Something unknown to the heartbroken, depressed, and confused.
To them sleep is purely a relief; an unseemingly blissful goal that is worked towards

That is once the sadness has settled in for the night and your eyes have grown too tired to cry anymore and finally have dried up

Sleep is Something you fall into on accident from pure exhaustion,
It's not on purpose

These souls are the ones up at night writing
Trying to make sense of the words and the hurt inside of their hearts that seems to leak onto paper before what is written before them can be understood

They are the ones who have a sparkle in their eye and a constant ache in their heart
They are not obvious, oh no
Because someone who really feels sadness knows it's something to be suffered through alone
You wouldn't dare drag someone along for the misery and deceit, the emptiness and aches
Because it's what you are trying to escape

And once you do, if it is at all possible to find happiness and fulfillment in your sorrows

You will lay in bed at night
And your pillow cases will be preserved an eggshell white
And the mascara stains will have vanished
And your mind won't race and clutter and cry out in pain from unknown certainty and tragedy

You'll merely close your eyes, and for once you will sleep.

#heartbreak #poetry #sad #depression #sadness #sleep #loss #night #late #grief

Kelly Marie Jan 2015

6 months without you

The pain never really goes away, does it?
I sighed in realization that I accepted a part of me would always be dark, and broken; while the other part of me still wondered why things turned out this way.

Because when you look back at the memories, you remember the good times. Smiling, happy, free. Or so you thought. But just like you and everyone else around you there was a sickness inside of her.
An eternal sadness.. something that can’t be fixed overnight. Or by one more hit. But she didn’t know that either.

It’s not how she wanted to end up, alone and scared; desperate for a needle to subside the pain. But it was what she knew, and she had no one else to rely on in that moment.

I think about that morning over and over, I overanalyze and try to remember a detail I missed, something I could do to go back and fix this.

But the damage was done. And you can spend days, months, years trying to change the memory and the destiny that landed at your footsteps

But your fate is sealed, and you are different now.

Forever changed, by grief; a tragedy you hadn’t written into your story. It wasn’t a mere bump in the plot, it was a **** catastrophe. But now it’s yours to carry, and it’s yours to overcome.

And I’ve been trying.

6 months without you sister. Missing you.

#love #heartbreak #poetry #death #late #sister #family #grief #tragedy #remembrance

Kelly Marie Sep 2014

Grief has no time limit

A constant ache inside my chest
Weeping eyes that just won't rest
Eternal sadness is a constant fear
A lonely life if you're not here

A broken heart time cannot mend
A life without you is one I cannot comprehend
So hard to fathom that you're gone
A stabbing pain i can't move on
Losing you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do
My heart is permanently black and blue

I'll fake a smile when I can
But all I really want to do is see you again..

It's been two months since you've been gone
And I still ask myself why
I can't mend this heartache
Since the day you died

For my sister.. Angela Michelle Martin. Rest in peace my older & best friend. Only the good die young.

#poetry #sad #death #loss #heartbroken #grief #rip #angie

Kelly Marie Sep 2014

The more I drink

Sometimes I drink too much and lose all control
Sometimes I think I drink to silence the voice of reason in my head
Constantly
Judging
Mocking
Nagging at me to make the right decisions.
Use your head, don't make any mistakes you may regret.
After a few beers I can hear her advice slowly quiet down
A few more and she's gone, and I can be
Reckless
Crazy
Thoughtless
and not give a **** til I wake up the next day.

#love #poetry #broken #sad #drunk #alcohol #forget #grief