A man who’s not ready to commit
Will always find a way
To make you feel not good enough
With an empty
Aching heart
That just wants to be loved
Held
And understood
From the start.
My intent is so pure.
But with each piece of love i give away
I don’t think
It gets returned
Back to my heart.
How do i feel so hollow
My chest like a drum
Yet filled with passion
And sadness
To my very core.
I’m a balloon filled with water
I’m a volcano ready to burst
I have let the poison of my own thoughts travel to my heart.
They build until i explode
I will burst, and fall apart
But once the mess is over
My tears fall like a river
they will cleanse the scars within
And now I can smile into the fire that you once burned me with
And walk away with just a scar
And Now, i am free
Free to restart again.
Free to be
My own friend. - k.c. 10/27/19
When you're in love with a guy who clearly wants to still " explore " when he's almost 40. I have so much to give, I had so much I was willing to sacrifice. But with his message, I feel like I was never enough. I get excuses of age gaps and "logical" reasoning, but I know deep down, he could never like me enough. What was the point of playing pretend..
now I ask, how do you not look in the mirror and ask
am i not pretty enough
am i not smart enough
what can i do to be enough
for him.
broken heart, broken thoughts.
i'm so tired of falling apart.
I wonder if I ever will heal and rise
from all that's damaged my heart.