I think God is calling me
Life is much too violent, too fleeting
to be walking without light
but it's not a soothing call
it's not dresses that cover my shoulders and knees
or hymns
or holy communion
It's not Mama waking me up to Milo and crackers
It is a command
that thundered within me
yet I heard it whispering to a part of me that I thought died years ago
A call to order
For me
From me

to my mother who never cared

i.  Thank you for becoming the woman
    you promised that you would never
    become.
ii. I never got all my stuff back, and
    I'm starting to lose myself in the
    stuffed animals and photographs
iii. i don't need you
    i don't need you
    i don't need you
iv. dad still cries and so do i but
     it's alright you never loved
     either of us anyways.
v.  thanks for forgetting my birthday
     and Christmas
     and that you gave birth to me
vi. i don't need you
     i don't need you
     i don't need you


     I don't need you.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore--
And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

you and I are somewhat like a beat and a tune
so different but melodic together
and you are The Beat
I wanna wake up to your sound every day
bask in the vibration of your bass and feel it radiate through me
and you are harmonious, you arise everyday to provide the planet with warmth and unity
And I adore that
This tempo of yours burns like glittering stars
And I admire that
You are just fine by yourself but now I want us to be one
Don't elude me, we are meant to be together
Cause I'm something like The Tune
I am that hum enlightens the earth
and serves as a companion for all souls
but when I climb up to Heaven and I am being crooned by the gods
I realize I unify the whole world too
but I can't do it alone
See, the world wants to hear our cadence and I can't wait for the moment we touch and the sky shines gold with our song
One day while cruising the universe we will meet
cause sometimes I like to think of the beat and tune as lovers
Hypnotic, passionate equally but beautiful together
but there's a time they do catch up and they kiss
and the world stares in awe of their music

I need to read love poetry
For the same reason monks read bibles

the irrepressible need to believe

That love exists
That love is omnipresent, omniscient, all powerful
That it is eternal

For someone somewhere, at least

The emptier I feel, the more I read

Let me believe

Someone kisses
Crusty eye-lids in perfect bliss

The thing that scares me about poetry and just art overall is that no one has to like it. They don't have to understand you and comprehend what's going on inside of you. But we do it anyways in hopes that someone out there will stumble upon it and the earth will shake and their heart will smile and it will change them like it changed you. Nothing is guaranteed in art. And that's why I love artists so much. They're so brave. They put their heart and soul out there and hope someone will say "Oh hey I feel this way too." Artists deserve way more credit for they represent the human experience.

The process of art-making scares me but it's liberating.