Falling
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                                                               ­                      y Head
                                                            ­                                     Open

Everything out in the open, but no one wants to clear up the mess left behind or pick up the pieces.

I guess you’re back again,
Hoping to waltz back into my heart
Like you never left it shattered
Or made me doubt my own worth
What makes you think I’ll fall for you again?

Is it the way I let your hands
Rest on my waist for a little too long?
Or how I tried to look away?
The fact that we see each other every weekend?
Or that I smile so wide at the sight of you?

The truth is I can’t, I won’t, I haven’t
Fallen for you again
How could I when I never truly hated you?
I never fell out of love with you
Everything you put me through and
I still made an excuse to love you

You can’t fall back in love with someone
If you never fell out and I hate you for that

Her eyes sparkle
I'm not her
The way her body curves mesmerises you
I'm not her

No matter how hard I try
I'll never be her
But that doesn't mean
I don't deserve more

I'm my own person
The world is at my feet
So watch me flourish without you
You lost me, but it wasn't my loss

Finally free from your grasp
I'm not her
I'm honestly happy
I'm not her

There once lived a girl
Free as can be,
Her smile bright,
Her heart young,
And her eyes full of sympathy

There once lived a girl
Loved by all,
Never sad,
Never lost,
But this was before the fall

There once lived a girl
Crying for help,
No one to turn to,
No one to trust,
Everyone heard her yelp

There once lived a girl
All alone,
No more friends,
No more laughter,
All because she wasn't a clone

There once lived a girl
Horrendously broken,
When her life slipped away,
When her smile disappeared,
So many words left unspoken

There once lived a girl
Free as can be,
Ruined by the world,
Ruined by society,
Now she lays under the oak tree

So many times she was hurt,
So many times she cried
While everyone stood by,
Now she is gone
Everyone has died a little inside

How could I ignore the signs
Everyone drooling at the sight of you
Rushing to follow you
Barely believing you’d choose me
Instead wishing it was them
Excited to wake up to your name

But you were the first to
Really look at me like that
Only to drop me in a second
Killing me with flirty remarks
Every time you saw me

Maybe I was naive but
Everything seemed right with you

Hi Mummy, I know you don't know me yet
but I will lay here hidden until you do,
I have so much growing to do
but I’m already counting down the days
until I get to see your face

Hi Mummy, I’m bigger now
and with each beat of your heart I echo,
you found out about me today,
I could feel the happiness
running through your body

Hi Mummy, you told daddy today,
he shouted at you and hit you,
you were crying as you sang to me
don’t worry when I’m born I will protect you,
like you're protecting me

Hi Mummy, look at me
I have fingers and toes just like you,
You had an ultrasound today
and I waved at you with my tiny hands,
I felt your laugh brightening my world

Hi Mummy, I heard you and daddy shouting,
you haven't spoken to me since
or laid a soft hand upon my tiny head,
I feel completely alone
Is everything okay?

Hi Mummy, I’m scared
You touched my head last night
it was the first time in weeks,
but it was different as you were crying
as you said “I’m sorry baby, I love you”

Hi Mummy, what’s happening today?
Everything is so quiet and rushed,
You haven't stopped crying,
I heard you mutter the words
“hospital” and “baby”

Help Mummy, I want it to stop!
I can’t move away from the pain,
With each ever slowing beat of my heart
I am jolted further away from you,
Through tears you cried “I’m sorry”

Hi Mummy, I’m safe now
I couldn't wait to see your face
but you never wanted to see mine,
I hope you are happy now,
I miss you mummy and I still love you