there are two sides to every story
it took me a long time to see
what i called our story
you called yours.

I love you
came out of your mouth
for the first time
without the dustings of
obligation.
at 23,
for the first time,
I believed it.

you wanted to keep me close
so that you had something
but you had everything
and didn't even care
I was whole when you met me
and shrunk to nothing
when you left me.

my dreams are nightmares in disguise,
tricking me all the time they are
silhouettes that look a lot like love
i slip you on like a night dress
delicate and smooth
hugging my every move
a ghost i've let into my body
breathing my every breath
replacing it with unknown
giving it things that once were my own
unaware if i'll ever see that part of me again
i wave goodbye and
in morning time
im born again
but this face that i don't recognize
still isn't good enough in your eyes
nothing ever is.

sometimes i wonder
if you are actually too busy
or if
you're just too busy for me.
i already know the answer
but when i accept it
we will be through
and i don't know what my life looks like
without you.

I thought I was done losing
Done pretending
Done trying to prove
My heart only wants you
To be happy
If you don’t know that by now
I will never be enough
Nothing will ever be enough

If you look closely you can see
Flowers grow out of the darkest parts of me