if things, people, experiences...go as easily as they came,
were they ever here, ever mine, ever real at all?

how will i know?

I had a dream about her again... she was mine like always. But something always happens in it where we are not together. Like the dream just makes me happy with what I want, taunts me, then shes gone. I mess up again like I did in life or she just disappears.  Dreams are the only thing I look forward too, bc she does come walking back into my life. " I miss the air so much, I miss my wife, its so lonely out in space, on such a timeless flight... I think its gonna be long long time, till touch down brings me around again to find, im not the man I think I am at home..." perfection and happiness is just... a dream.

She is high,
alive on
nouveau romance,
a libido kept quiet.

She is
ill-content,
flashbacks
withOut relief,
but a spark-plug second
her blissed-out blessed beneath.

She is
driving home
upset,
his rolling-over motion
this morning
was expected.

Frigid hands
clasping coffee cups
at Venice Beach.
She sighs.
Relief
is a sky of
lemons orange
and persimmon trees
and caffeine.