Forever haunted by the words you say.
Forever haunted since you've gone away.

Sometimes I talk about you like you're away on a trip and you're coming back.
Throwing you into casual conversations as if the people I was conversing with felt everything you make me feel.
Pretending they understand the depths of my heart
and how deep you've fallen into it.

But not even I understand the intensity that is you.

Like gravity you pull me back and hold me down.
Trapping me in an illusion of a story never told and never to be told
but forever read in my head.
A never ending dialogue between love and loss, let go and hold on.

A love story.

A tragically beautiful love story.

If my mother read my poems
She would think I was in love.
I'd have to explain to her
"How could I be in love with anyone if I can't even love myself?"
If even the thought of love makes me sick
To the point I feel like going days without eating
Humanity has a notion of love
It's all consuming
             all powering
      all people want
But if I can't care for myself
How is it right that others expect me to care for them?
My mother, if I were to line my body
With my favorite quotes and phrases and lyrics,
Would think I was in love
But aren't love and hate closely alined?
Coiling around your body and gripping you till you don't know yourself
From your obsession
If my mother read my poems
She'd think I was in love
So deep in love that I've lost myself
So deep in love that I've found myself
So deep in love that I never had a self to begin with
If you see my mother read my poems.

*You'll see her cry

sometimes,
you don't even know
you're in hell
until you catch a glimpse
of heaven.

I know that you are lonely and I think we need to walk.
I keep wasting words about the weather and other small talk.
You gotta promise to keep pulsing just like the April rain.
Your lips are just flesh but they sure cover all the pain.

I walk beside you because you are my best friend.
We can walk through the park, hand in hand.
I'll keep you safe no matter where, until we reach our end.
I promise to love you past the trees,
but there's one thing I don't understand.

I can't see the harm in loving,
despite all that comes.
There were those that left before me,
but I'm not that one.

Your leaving is death,
but I still keep you alive.  
I wait for you, Kori,
and that's how I survive.

They say you never get over it, you just learn to tolerate.
I let cups of coffee stain my lips to remove your taste.  
I don't wanna think less of you; you can't be someone I hate.
I don't want you to disappear or for my love to go to waste.

I could die from anticipation just to **** the wait.
Until I see you again, my dreams will create
a way to visit you in my own personal paradise.
What it would be to hold you again as you shiver from the ice.

I'm not sure if anyone could love you more than I.
But I welcome them to do, or at least to try.
I want you to be loved. I want you to be happy.
I want you to be loved with or without me.

I want you to be loved.
I want you to be loved.
I want you to be loved
with or without me.

Soaring into thoughts unspoken
Chasing ghosts, and things unbroken
Finding devastation isn't always what it seems
Sometimes, what seemed just a notion
Lost somewhere in all commotion
Never really faded, for we feel it in our dreams
With every cloud we dance upon
As darkness flees before the dawn
And laughter comes much more than just a voice inside our heads
We bleed the words, we write the songs
With every right and every wrong
Until our inner muse is satisfied with what we've said