If I were a world dictator,
I would make peace now, not later,
I would ban bombs and guns,
A new way on Earth begun,
Big dreamers start with dreams,
We could change the world, it seems,
We need peace now, not later,
If I were a kind dictator.........

Girl met boy one day,
She dumped him along the way,
He was a ******* for thee,
He called her a ****, you see,
Now he can't get his rocks off, tee hee,
Try not abusing any woman, enough,
You're not an excuse for a man, tough!

I, giraffe, stand long and tall,
Am I the tallest of you all?
I have such a long elegant neck,
I see above the crowds, by heck,
I can tower over you all,
I, giraffe, stand long and tall.

I was asked to create a holiday,
What about a pyjama day?
We would not get dressed at all,
Stay in bed, hide and stall,
Sit around in flannelette,
Stay in PJ's, don't get dressed,
In fact, don't wash or cook,
Do mental slumming with ****** books!

If only this dog could talk,
We'd chat as we went for walks,
Indeed, what would a dog say?
"Hello tree, how are you today?"
"Hello, each blade of grass,
Hope this walk's not my last."
"Hello, cute little poodle,
Puppies we could have oodles!"
But what would a poodle say?
"Just keep on walking, on your way!"

I'm a teacher for forty three years,
Does that make me an expert dears?
It's a rocket science yet,
Teaching reading to the pets,
Some folk are born to teach,
Educating our students each!

Being positive is my thing,
But I do have an evil twin,
I imagine some weird things,
Like being a gastric surgeon,
Give laryngospasms for these durgeons,
I don't think they'll ever be men,
Ah, it's no use snivelling, you ken?
Hope they get chicks better than me,
Else, who is going to cook your tea?
You must stop being such sooks,
Get off buns, and learn how to cook!